The big move was approaching quickly and once our mums arrived it was real. It was our last week in Aussie, mixed emotions I was glad to be heading home but there was so many amazing memories Kane and I had, had over the two years we lived there and many things I would miss (especially the weather!).
Our mums did the best job of making the house look like new which helped as cleaning had been a struggle with three babies. Each day the house was looking more empty and the nerves were settling in, how on earth is this move going to go.
At the airport we had 5 large bags/suitcases, 3 car seats, 1 very large triplet pram, a backpack, a babybag, handbags and three very cute little people. We said our goodbyes to Kane as he was staying on a week longer to finalise everything. It felt so weird leaving for the last time, but as we were kept busy it was hard to actually think to much about it. amazingly going through customs, immigration and boarding the plane went fairly well no hiccups and all the staff were great at helping. on the plane we fed the babies and then they just cuddled in as we set off. Around half way back a few tears and cranky moments but overall no one would have known there was 3 babies on the plane. Getting back into Dunedin however was a different story it was a long day they had missed there last feed and Dunedin is bloody slow and frustrating. We were welcomed with family which was so lovely but with three screaming babies it was not fun at all. I couldn't think, so much to do and was pretty overwhelmed.
The next week I spent and my Mum and Dads while starting to set up the house to make it nice and homely. The change of time, climate, no Kane resulted in three unsettled, non sleeping babies. I could say Kane is like my backbone and without him I actually felt lost, I think also the babies missed him as well. We were so glad to have him back and then once we settled into our home the babies got more in sync and started sleeping a bit better but the biggest relief was Kane didn't start work for 4 weeks so we had time to relax and properly settle back into life in NZ. (and the cold weather)
Babies first Christmas was more exciting for us as they just thought it was another day, and to say that they got spoilt is an understatement. But was nice to be able to spend it with our family and friends. We even managed a day trip to Cromwell with the babies and spent some time at Kane's family crib, so was a great break but like all holidays they soon come to an end and 4 weeks went surprisingly quick.
I don't know who was more nervous for Kane to start his new job, we were going great babies were now 5 months old and cheekier than ever and I was doubting myself and if I would cope going back to being on my own. The first couple of days into it and I almost felt incapable and was in tears when Kane would get home and be utterly exhausted but with some help and support I managed to keep going and the each day looked a bit better and as time went on we got into a new routine and they got used to Dad being away through the day.
The babies were now a lot more fun and starting to really show their individual personalities. Esmae the first born is the boss, of her siblings and her parents she will let you know in a hurry if she is not happy but she loves cuddles and her smile is just so infectious. Little Miss Indigo is content and most of the time very placid although behind closed doors can really make a scene, she is instantly lovable with her quiet nature and cute smiles. Last but not least is Mr Miller the cheeky wee devil who has both his parents under his little finger, he is super cute and very serious, although once he warms to people the smiles are endless! From the move back and added stress I had stopped producing as much milk and the babies started to get a little frustrated so after 5 months of exclusively breastfeed we introduced a bottle a day of formula, Indi didn't go to well on it so she just stuck to the breastfeeding. I was proud to make it that long but happy to give them formula as they were growing so quickly and needed more fuel. We were also started to look into solids. How quick do these little people grow!
Thursday, 12 June 2014
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Big decisions - November
For anyone with children that live away from their family will know its hard. We had always discussed going back to NZ after a few years but once the bubs came we knew we had to make a decision, we were finding it hard without that family support. We really enjoyed living in Brisbane and for almost being there 2 years we felt settled, but we decided to make the decision to move home to be closer to our family and friends. Once decided Kane looked for work, we struck it lucky as after applying for a couple one came back and had a Skype interview, I am a big believer in what is meant to be will be so we just hoped for the best outcome. The following week Kane said to me they want him to go home for an interview so off Kane flew home on a early sunday morning and came home the Monday night. I however was on my own not only through the day but for 2 whole days. The babies must have known I was on my own as they behaved pretty well. Lets just say thank goodness for pizza and grocery delivery.
The night sleeps were starting to stretch out to round 5 hours now and getting longer each week. we couldn't believe it starting to get more sleep makes you feel like a new person. (Looking back now I actually think i got more sleep when they were younger!)
Esmae, Indi and Miller were really starting to blossom already 3 months old, smiles were now a frequent thing which was just priceless makes everything worth it when you see the innocence of a baby's smile. They were focussing a lot more of toys, books and faces. Really starting to know who we were and even become a bit cheeky for attention. Witching hour had also set in, from 6pm onwards the house was like screaming nightmare. Not sure what it was but nothing would settle them and usually they set each other off. Bath nights which we did every 2-3 were chaos, but most of the time they enjoyed it.
Kane got the job so we were going home, now to move countries with 3 4 month olds, HELP! Luckily both our mums offered to help so they were arriving Dec to help pack and clean and take the babies back to NZ. Once the decision was finalised it was like a relief the babies would grow up where we did and be around all their family.
The night sleeps were starting to stretch out to round 5 hours now and getting longer each week. we couldn't believe it starting to get more sleep makes you feel like a new person. (Looking back now I actually think i got more sleep when they were younger!)
Esmae, Indi and Miller were really starting to blossom already 3 months old, smiles were now a frequent thing which was just priceless makes everything worth it when you see the innocence of a baby's smile. They were focussing a lot more of toys, books and faces. Really starting to know who we were and even become a bit cheeky for attention. Witching hour had also set in, from 6pm onwards the house was like screaming nightmare. Not sure what it was but nothing would settle them and usually they set each other off. Bath nights which we did every 2-3 were chaos, but most of the time they enjoyed it.
Kane got the job so we were going home, now to move countries with 3 4 month olds, HELP! Luckily both our mums offered to help so they were arriving Dec to help pack and clean and take the babies back to NZ. Once the decision was finalised it was like a relief the babies would grow up where we did and be around all their family.
Life as we know it - October
Things were in full swing, we were getting used to our new babies, new life and new way of doing things. With Kane back to work I was at home with the babies, the first few days freaked me out, how will I cope, how will I do it and many other questions but I guess I knew I had too as there wasn't any other options. Day to day we had a routine in place, babies were still on 3hr feeds and started to extend over night to almost 3.5-4hours (sometimes). Because they were still so small they did sleep a lot, so with them feeding at the same time (double breastfeed and one bottle expressed milk) was about to do this on my own taking around 45mins -1 hour all going well, so if they went back to sleep i got around 1-1.5 hours to clean, cook, express, eat or rest. Esmae unfortunately got reflux which wasn't fun at all. My memory around this time is a bit hazy but one thing I do clearly remember is her vomiting/power chucking everywhere at least 2-3 times daily and usually over me and her siblings. It wasn't fun at the time we kept thinking surely it cant last forever, and sure enough eventually it faded.
I was still managing to fully breastfeed, expressing still 2-3 times a day on top of breastfeeding at least 2 each feed. Its fair to say I felt like a milking machine. I had to eat so much as I constantly felt hungry, I didn't mind. Not one bit. I had a lot of people comment and ask why I was so determined to breastfeed all my babies. I think for me it came down to the fact if I gave birth to one baby I would have been as committed to feeding them, so I felt with them being so early it was the best thing I could do for them and I was just gifted with lots of milk so maybe it all worked out for a reason.
The babies were growing and half way through the month the babies reached their full term date. It was like celebrating their first milestone. Both Kane and I were already proud of our 3 little munchkins and every day they seemed more alert and learning so many new things. We still tried to get put a bit to the shops or walks, for us triplets was the norm and for so many other people they are not. So much attention, so many questions, some people are lovely and we don't mind talking to them and others can be rather rude. I think its a case of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. But we were proud parents so we don't let it get to us. I think I also need to make a fact sheet for people to hand out so I don't have to repeat myself all the time. Haha.
I was still managing to fully breastfeed, expressing still 2-3 times a day on top of breastfeeding at least 2 each feed. Its fair to say I felt like a milking machine. I had to eat so much as I constantly felt hungry, I didn't mind. Not one bit. I had a lot of people comment and ask why I was so determined to breastfeed all my babies. I think for me it came down to the fact if I gave birth to one baby I would have been as committed to feeding them, so I felt with them being so early it was the best thing I could do for them and I was just gifted with lots of milk so maybe it all worked out for a reason.
The babies were growing and half way through the month the babies reached their full term date. It was like celebrating their first milestone. Both Kane and I were already proud of our 3 little munchkins and every day they seemed more alert and learning so many new things. We still tried to get put a bit to the shops or walks, for us triplets was the norm and for so many other people they are not. So much attention, so many questions, some people are lovely and we don't mind talking to them and others can be rather rude. I think its a case of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. But we were proud parents so we don't let it get to us. I think I also need to make a fact sheet for people to hand out so I don't have to repeat myself all the time. Haha.
Saturday, 1 March 2014
The long days pay off - September
Now babies were steadily improving, at 4 weeks old they didn't even know what existed outside a hospital. Some moments I would get really down or jealous on my travels to the hospital I would often find myself watching other mothers or pregnant woman. I had to constantly remind myself that this was the best thing for my babies to become strong enough to get home.
The next massive phase we were approaching was breastfeeding. There is so much pressure of mothers of all ages on how to best fed your babies and my decision I made was to try. I was not going to stress over it I would try and see where it lead me. In saying that I can be a very determined person and as soon as I started I convinced myself I could do it. For mothers that have either tried to breastfed or have its not as easy as it looks. I had spent the first 4 weeks expressing 2-3 hourly (4hrly overnight) so I was making a lot of milk. When I first started to introduce the breast Miller was the first to try and at gestation of 34 was able to latch on but doing that would exhaust him to sleep. So this went on for a few days and as Indigo and Esmae were introduced as they became more stable the same situation. It was a lot of work for my small babies who weighed around 1.7-2kg now. The odd time they would suckle a little milk but because of my strong flow it took awhile for them to get used to it. There were moments I would just cry from being so exhausted. In the hospital they are strict on their routines and times. So babies were fed every 3 hours by tube, Esmae and Miller were at the same time and Indi was the next hour after them. I was spending around 45mins on average with each of them to try and latch and feed them. Some feeds they did really well and only got topped up half tube feeds other times they wouldn't wake at all. When they were 35 weeks adjusted (5 weeks old) they were able to have little feds and their suck was getting stronger. My days were full on to say the least but in the back of my mind I kept telling myself it is worth it just stick at it. Kane was a great help and support, once we started trying to twin fed I needed a lot of help. I would latch the first baby on and then with help either from the nurses or Kane I would try and feed 2. This was awkward, I had no idea what I was barely doing and wondered If I ever would. The thing I found was practice doesn't make perfect but gets you used to it and a lot better and finding what works. The days in hospital were still long and tiring, I look back now and actually wonder how I survived! But in the moment we knew no different and when your in those situation you seem just to make it work.
Babies still quite often got tests done either head ultrasounds to check for brain bleeds, xrays of body, blood tests, eye examination which were so brutal parents were told not to stay there and watch, even from the expressing room I could hear the heart aching cry that were my babies. The greater good I would keep telling myself. The docs did there rounds every day and every second day babies got reviewed so that meant a full body examination. Even at 5 weeks old I could not believe the journey that my 3 little fighters had been through.
With the babies doing extremely well and getting close to being off all machines meant there was the possibility of them being transferred to another hospital. The hospital that was closer to us only had 10 beds in their unit and with having 3 babies meant unlikely to have room. One day which may I add was just terrible, (got a speeding ticket on way to hospital) and then get to hospital and the nurse say to me that my babies are being transferred to a hospital about 30mins opposite direction from home which meant Kane would only be able to visit on weekends. I broke down I was so so so upset. They said 2 would go in one ambulance and one in another. I wondered how I would cope the buses there were not as frequent and would take ages! After talking to kane who was not happy at all about this I spoke up and told them that I wouldn't cope being their all week on my own at a hospital where I know no one. They listened in the end thank goodness, and realised babies wouldn't be close to getting home by this stage as I was getting them to fed more and more off me.
The day they turned 6 weeks old they got their jabs and taken off all machines. I was breastfeeding all 3 of them their days feeds (3-4 feeds each) and they were offered bottles through the night. When babies were 36weeks + 2 days / 6weeks 2 days old they told us they though they were ready to go to parent crafting, (a room in the nicu like a motel room when its just the parents and babies to see how everybody copes and If the babies feed and sleep alright.) we were excited and so nervous the whole way through so far we had the help of nurses now we were about to do it on our own.
The first night we were on edge and full of adrenalin. It was a massive new experience having them on our own and although we were probably stressed to our eye balls it felt so good to finally be our wee family. Kane was able to help a lot with the feeding because I was still expressing 8 times a day were able to bottle fed the baby that I wasn't breastfeeding. Feeds were still taking upwards of 30mins and it was long process of that and burping etc. The first night we got a total of 1.5 hours total spread over in little stints. I don't think it really hit us til later that night but we kept going pretty much just feeding changing and burping 24/7. Before we got to get discharged we had to get babies weighed as they were all of suck feeds opposed to some tube feds it used up a lot more energy which resulted in weight loss. All of them loss but docs were happy as babies were feeding ok. So it was time to take our precious cargo home. We couldn't believe so at 6 weeks + 5 days old the babies entered the big wide world. You could imagine our drive home, and finally getting them to our home where they belonged. Kane had the next 2 weeks off which was a life saver and to be completely honest I don't remember much of those first few weeks at home.
They were 3hourly fed as all under 3kg still, which meant fed times were 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, 11pm, 2am 5am everyday. Feeds took about on average 1 -2 hours so some nights we got 1 hour sleep between feeds. I was also still expressing 8 times a day and breastfeeding each feed for 2 babies. The reason being I was making so much milk if I didn't express I would lose a lot and probably get mastitis. I began to slowly take out every 2nd express so was able to express morning lunch and before bed. Although we were the most tired we have ever been in our lives we were loving having the babies home and having them all to us. We had to go back to hospital for regular check ups which was a mission although had to be done.
When Kane was off work we were even able to make use of the pram and get out for some walks we loved getting outside finally after spending so much time stuck in a hospital and plus the babies loved the pram and always slept well.
Photos:
The next massive phase we were approaching was breastfeeding. There is so much pressure of mothers of all ages on how to best fed your babies and my decision I made was to try. I was not going to stress over it I would try and see where it lead me. In saying that I can be a very determined person and as soon as I started I convinced myself I could do it. For mothers that have either tried to breastfed or have its not as easy as it looks. I had spent the first 4 weeks expressing 2-3 hourly (4hrly overnight) so I was making a lot of milk. When I first started to introduce the breast Miller was the first to try and at gestation of 34 was able to latch on but doing that would exhaust him to sleep. So this went on for a few days and as Indigo and Esmae were introduced as they became more stable the same situation. It was a lot of work for my small babies who weighed around 1.7-2kg now. The odd time they would suckle a little milk but because of my strong flow it took awhile for them to get used to it. There were moments I would just cry from being so exhausted. In the hospital they are strict on their routines and times. So babies were fed every 3 hours by tube, Esmae and Miller were at the same time and Indi was the next hour after them. I was spending around 45mins on average with each of them to try and latch and feed them. Some feeds they did really well and only got topped up half tube feeds other times they wouldn't wake at all. When they were 35 weeks adjusted (5 weeks old) they were able to have little feds and their suck was getting stronger. My days were full on to say the least but in the back of my mind I kept telling myself it is worth it just stick at it. Kane was a great help and support, once we started trying to twin fed I needed a lot of help. I would latch the first baby on and then with help either from the nurses or Kane I would try and feed 2. This was awkward, I had no idea what I was barely doing and wondered If I ever would. The thing I found was practice doesn't make perfect but gets you used to it and a lot better and finding what works. The days in hospital were still long and tiring, I look back now and actually wonder how I survived! But in the moment we knew no different and when your in those situation you seem just to make it work.
Babies still quite often got tests done either head ultrasounds to check for brain bleeds, xrays of body, blood tests, eye examination which were so brutal parents were told not to stay there and watch, even from the expressing room I could hear the heart aching cry that were my babies. The greater good I would keep telling myself. The docs did there rounds every day and every second day babies got reviewed so that meant a full body examination. Even at 5 weeks old I could not believe the journey that my 3 little fighters had been through.
With the babies doing extremely well and getting close to being off all machines meant there was the possibility of them being transferred to another hospital. The hospital that was closer to us only had 10 beds in their unit and with having 3 babies meant unlikely to have room. One day which may I add was just terrible, (got a speeding ticket on way to hospital) and then get to hospital and the nurse say to me that my babies are being transferred to a hospital about 30mins opposite direction from home which meant Kane would only be able to visit on weekends. I broke down I was so so so upset. They said 2 would go in one ambulance and one in another. I wondered how I would cope the buses there were not as frequent and would take ages! After talking to kane who was not happy at all about this I spoke up and told them that I wouldn't cope being their all week on my own at a hospital where I know no one. They listened in the end thank goodness, and realised babies wouldn't be close to getting home by this stage as I was getting them to fed more and more off me.
The day they turned 6 weeks old they got their jabs and taken off all machines. I was breastfeeding all 3 of them their days feeds (3-4 feeds each) and they were offered bottles through the night. When babies were 36weeks + 2 days / 6weeks 2 days old they told us they though they were ready to go to parent crafting, (a room in the nicu like a motel room when its just the parents and babies to see how everybody copes and If the babies feed and sleep alright.) we were excited and so nervous the whole way through so far we had the help of nurses now we were about to do it on our own.
The first night we were on edge and full of adrenalin. It was a massive new experience having them on our own and although we were probably stressed to our eye balls it felt so good to finally be our wee family. Kane was able to help a lot with the feeding because I was still expressing 8 times a day were able to bottle fed the baby that I wasn't breastfeeding. Feeds were still taking upwards of 30mins and it was long process of that and burping etc. The first night we got a total of 1.5 hours total spread over in little stints. I don't think it really hit us til later that night but we kept going pretty much just feeding changing and burping 24/7. Before we got to get discharged we had to get babies weighed as they were all of suck feeds opposed to some tube feds it used up a lot more energy which resulted in weight loss. All of them loss but docs were happy as babies were feeding ok. So it was time to take our precious cargo home. We couldn't believe so at 6 weeks + 5 days old the babies entered the big wide world. You could imagine our drive home, and finally getting them to our home where they belonged. Kane had the next 2 weeks off which was a life saver and to be completely honest I don't remember much of those first few weeks at home.
They were 3hourly fed as all under 3kg still, which meant fed times were 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, 11pm, 2am 5am everyday. Feeds took about on average 1 -2 hours so some nights we got 1 hour sleep between feeds. I was also still expressing 8 times a day and breastfeeding each feed for 2 babies. The reason being I was making so much milk if I didn't express I would lose a lot and probably get mastitis. I began to slowly take out every 2nd express so was able to express morning lunch and before bed. Although we were the most tired we have ever been in our lives we were loving having the babies home and having them all to us. We had to go back to hospital for regular check ups which was a mission although had to be done.
When Kane was off work we were even able to make use of the pram and get out for some walks we loved getting outside finally after spending so much time stuck in a hospital and plus the babies loved the pram and always slept well.
Photos:
In their car seats
First play all together at home
Sleeping arrangements
The beast a.k.a - our pram :)
Monday, 24 February 2014
First month - Life inside
Just to note 6 months have passed so I am jogging my memory and recapping this as I go through it. If it seems a bit over the place it probably is as a lot has gone on but ill do my best to try get it in the right order.
Life for Kane at this stage was hectic not only was he back to work full time he was visiting the babies as much as he could after work for a few hours and before work every morning and then call me to give me the update. I was struggling with the long days in NICU, I was beginning to be able to walk a bit more and was catching the bus to the hospital every morning which took me about 1 hour 15 mins approx, and for people that have had c sections will know bumpy rides and uncomfy seats make for long tiring ride. As I was still determined to breastfed I would have to get up in the morning express and then make breakfast and walk to bus stop, go on bus, change bus, get on another bus and then make my way to the hospital I would get there quickly check in on babies and then have to express again. This seemed like my life at this stage, I was making some milk too, I was lucky to have a good supply and with the constant expressing it was bringing on more and more. I had now a big back log and was starting my own freezer supply at home for when they would be at home.
Babies all were gaining the weight they had lost in their first week and were all getting stronger and stronger by the day. It was so hard to feel helpless as a mother but as every other family in the NICU were going through it, it almost began to feel normal in a weird way. The expressing room enabled me to form some friendships with other mothers. I enjoyed this time to express and chat (seems bizarre I know but I think everyone felt comfortable as we all had one thing in common sick/little babies needing care). Once my milk had came it started doubling. All the nurses would comment how my body must have known that I was providing for 3 babes. My average express was around 300mls 3hrly, and my greatest express was 550mls!! (was when I had sleep through my alarm in the night and it had been around 5hrs, lets just say I was sore and could hardly move my body!)
Miller was progressing the fastest and was doing very well in special care nursery. He was able to have a cuddle every 2nd day for the first couple of weeks then when he was around 2-3 weeks old was aloud daily cuddles, which then closer to he was 4 weeks old (34 weeks corrected) had a cuddle 2-3 times a day. He still had to be in a isolette for 3 weeks til he reached over 1.7kg. Then he was able to progress into an open cot and be dressed in baby clothes for the first time. This was like massive milestones for us! We were so over joyed doing these experiences with him as it meant more cuddles with his mumma and dadda. Also once in an open cot for around 2 days they can also have a bath in a baby bath, previous to that it is just a wipe down with cotton balls to clean them. Its like seeing your baby for the first time when you can sit and stare at him in the open cot.
Indigo spent a total of 3 1/2 weeks in NICU before trialling of CPAP she was really good and phasing off and after breathing on her own for 1-2 days also joined her brother in special care. She did really well, although remained in her isolette til she reached the right weight to join her brother in the open cot. It was quite hard in this point also as Miller being in special care and the girls in NICU it was splitting my time in half and also having the guilts about how much time I was spending in each part and with each child.
Esmae who struggled the most at the start did quite well after about 8 days on CPAP so they thought she was ready to come off CPAP. We were excited that she was doing so well and in the next day progressed to special care. In special care they had to keep a closer eye on her, after a few hours she had to be put on oxygen as she started to breathe heavy and weak, that night we got a call that she hadn't coped well at all with the change and ended back in high need NICU. Not what I wanted to hear, my wee girl having troubles and i'm not there. that morning I rushed to her side and she looked peaceful but worn out. the breathing on her own had made her very weak and was put straight back on CPAP when she went back to NICU. After this episode she became quite dependant on it and spent the longest in NICU got out just after she was 4 weeks old. Kane wasn't able to cuddle Esmae til she was 3 weeks old I think he found this tuff as she was so fragile and all you want to do is kiss and cuddle your precious baby.
Life was full on even though the babies were still in hospital, most mornings before I would head in I would prepare dinner for me and Kane and get some washing and cleaning done. We weren't getting home til around 9pm every night where we would have dinner, id express and then straight to bed. I was always sad leaving the babies I don't think that got easier I just learned to deal with it better. Before we went to sleep every night we would ring the hospital and check how our babies were and if there was any change, told them to call us if any changes. The thing that we kept reminding ourselves is that one day in the near future we will be able to walk out of this hospital with our babies as well.
I cant exactly remember weights but usually put on anywhere between 10g-100g every 2-3 days, usually round 50g. They had been gradually increasing their milk as there weight went up, started all on 1ml, then to 2ml, 3ml etc. Once they hit 20mls went up quicker. All tube fed still but was eager to start breastfeeding as soon as they could suck/swallow. We got to help with the feds by hold the syringe for them. They would still often set the alarms off by either having a brady or forgetting to breathe. the more it happened the more you got used to it. Both kane and I were getting good at analysing the machine and knowing what they meant and when to get a nurse to check them.
Photos:
Life for Kane at this stage was hectic not only was he back to work full time he was visiting the babies as much as he could after work for a few hours and before work every morning and then call me to give me the update. I was struggling with the long days in NICU, I was beginning to be able to walk a bit more and was catching the bus to the hospital every morning which took me about 1 hour 15 mins approx, and for people that have had c sections will know bumpy rides and uncomfy seats make for long tiring ride. As I was still determined to breastfed I would have to get up in the morning express and then make breakfast and walk to bus stop, go on bus, change bus, get on another bus and then make my way to the hospital I would get there quickly check in on babies and then have to express again. This seemed like my life at this stage, I was making some milk too, I was lucky to have a good supply and with the constant expressing it was bringing on more and more. I had now a big back log and was starting my own freezer supply at home for when they would be at home.
Babies all were gaining the weight they had lost in their first week and were all getting stronger and stronger by the day. It was so hard to feel helpless as a mother but as every other family in the NICU were going through it, it almost began to feel normal in a weird way. The expressing room enabled me to form some friendships with other mothers. I enjoyed this time to express and chat (seems bizarre I know but I think everyone felt comfortable as we all had one thing in common sick/little babies needing care). Once my milk had came it started doubling. All the nurses would comment how my body must have known that I was providing for 3 babes. My average express was around 300mls 3hrly, and my greatest express was 550mls!! (was when I had sleep through my alarm in the night and it had been around 5hrs, lets just say I was sore and could hardly move my body!)
Miller was progressing the fastest and was doing very well in special care nursery. He was able to have a cuddle every 2nd day for the first couple of weeks then when he was around 2-3 weeks old was aloud daily cuddles, which then closer to he was 4 weeks old (34 weeks corrected) had a cuddle 2-3 times a day. He still had to be in a isolette for 3 weeks til he reached over 1.7kg. Then he was able to progress into an open cot and be dressed in baby clothes for the first time. This was like massive milestones for us! We were so over joyed doing these experiences with him as it meant more cuddles with his mumma and dadda. Also once in an open cot for around 2 days they can also have a bath in a baby bath, previous to that it is just a wipe down with cotton balls to clean them. Its like seeing your baby for the first time when you can sit and stare at him in the open cot.
Indigo spent a total of 3 1/2 weeks in NICU before trialling of CPAP she was really good and phasing off and after breathing on her own for 1-2 days also joined her brother in special care. She did really well, although remained in her isolette til she reached the right weight to join her brother in the open cot. It was quite hard in this point also as Miller being in special care and the girls in NICU it was splitting my time in half and also having the guilts about how much time I was spending in each part and with each child.
Esmae who struggled the most at the start did quite well after about 8 days on CPAP so they thought she was ready to come off CPAP. We were excited that she was doing so well and in the next day progressed to special care. In special care they had to keep a closer eye on her, after a few hours she had to be put on oxygen as she started to breathe heavy and weak, that night we got a call that she hadn't coped well at all with the change and ended back in high need NICU. Not what I wanted to hear, my wee girl having troubles and i'm not there. that morning I rushed to her side and she looked peaceful but worn out. the breathing on her own had made her very weak and was put straight back on CPAP when she went back to NICU. After this episode she became quite dependant on it and spent the longest in NICU got out just after she was 4 weeks old. Kane wasn't able to cuddle Esmae til she was 3 weeks old I think he found this tuff as she was so fragile and all you want to do is kiss and cuddle your precious baby.
Life was full on even though the babies were still in hospital, most mornings before I would head in I would prepare dinner for me and Kane and get some washing and cleaning done. We weren't getting home til around 9pm every night where we would have dinner, id express and then straight to bed. I was always sad leaving the babies I don't think that got easier I just learned to deal with it better. Before we went to sleep every night we would ring the hospital and check how our babies were and if there was any change, told them to call us if any changes. The thing that we kept reminding ourselves is that one day in the near future we will be able to walk out of this hospital with our babies as well.
I cant exactly remember weights but usually put on anywhere between 10g-100g every 2-3 days, usually round 50g. They had been gradually increasing their milk as there weight went up, started all on 1ml, then to 2ml, 3ml etc. Once they hit 20mls went up quicker. All tube fed still but was eager to start breastfeeding as soon as they could suck/swallow. We got to help with the feds by hold the syringe for them. They would still often set the alarms off by either having a brady or forgetting to breathe. the more it happened the more you got used to it. Both kane and I were getting good at analysing the machine and knowing what they meant and when to get a nurse to check them.
Photos:
Having a cuddle with Miller
Kane having a cuddle with Esmae
My first double cuddle, Miller in the green hat, Esmae with the CPAP mask on.
Kane and Miller cuddles
Mr Miller in his isolette
Esmae in her isolette and her favourite U shaped pillow
Indigo getting a nappy change
Thursday, 21 November 2013
The babies first week
Well the next part of our lives went so quick. As soon as Kane arrived the next day i was excited to see him i was losing my pain relief machine which i was nervous about. I was able to shower and get to the wheelchair i dont think my smile was any bigger i was so relieved that finally i would get to spend some time with my babies.
Arriving in the NICU was overwhelming so many machines going so many tubes, i felt so helpless they were my babies except i was unable to hold them or touch them. Even being in the wheel chair was sore but i pushed the pain aside to watch my babies every move. It was time for the doctors rounds so back up to the ward. The babies were tube fed their milk (colostrum) each received 1ml every 3 hours. Doesn't seem like much but when i was only hand expressing about 2-3mls each time it was as precious as gold! Unfortunately i didnt quite have enough for one feed so babies each ended up having 2-3mls donor breast milk the whole time the rest i was able to provide.
I spent as much time as i could by their sides, was hard at times as they were each in separate rooms at points so would spent limited time with each baby.
Was nice still being in hospital as i was able to go down whenever to see the babies i was still in a lot of pain and the constant moving also made it worst however i knew my babies needed me more. On friday i got discharged, we spent the whole day in the hospital and packing up my room which i spent a total of 7 weeks in was a relief. Although i was so nervous about being separated from my babies. The drive home was weird i hadn't been in a car for such a long time as well as my home. I was sore tired and sad, i was expressing every 3 hours so even though the babies weren't home i had to get up i found this hard as i could hardly walk far and getting in and out of bed was hard.
My mum, dad, sister her partner and kids arrived that night was so nice to see my family and was overjoyed although the constant pain from surgery and being parted from my babies was constant. The first week was the hardest week of my life not only was i overjoyed my babies were here but i was so tired from the long days spent at nicu, recovering and learning to establish my milk by expressing.
The babies were on CPAP which was the next step to breathing on their own, its like a mask over the babies face with nozzles into their nose, they were breathing on their own although this provided assistance so they didn't over work themselves. Kane was able to start changing the nappies in the second days he was nervous as they were so little. But was such an enjoyable time for him bonding with his 3 newborn babies. My first cuddle was with Indigo when she was 3 days old i was so nervous but as soon as she was placed on my chest it felt right and in the that moment i was in love all over again .. I was lost in the moment it was so precious and i finally got my first contact with one of my babies. As they were little and needed assistance they could only be handled when the nicu nurses thought they were up to it. The next cuddle i got was with miller and same again overwhelming love and joy. Esmae i got to cuddle when she was 7 day old. She was the most fragile and they were worried about her, but she loved having the cuddles and coped really well with them.
Miller was such a fighter he managed to be off CPAP on day 5 and proceeded into special care nursery on day 7, Esmae and indigo however were still having CPAP assistance.
When we would arrive home we both felt like we weren't parents as it was so hard my emotions were all over the place, i felt so complete at the hospital and then so empty at home. I really understood the phrase unconditional love and how much love i had for each of my babies. Kane also got a cuddle with Indigo in her first week which he loved and as they got stronger we got more cuddles! It made it all worth it. By the end of their first week i was finally starting to manage a lot easier with the pain and recovery i just couldn't wait to be able to have all my babies to myself. I knew we would be a few weeks away from that but that hope was what kept me going and talking to all the other mothers and fathers going through what i was in the hospital i made some great friends.
Arriving in the NICU was overwhelming so many machines going so many tubes, i felt so helpless they were my babies except i was unable to hold them or touch them. Even being in the wheel chair was sore but i pushed the pain aside to watch my babies every move. It was time for the doctors rounds so back up to the ward. The babies were tube fed their milk (colostrum) each received 1ml every 3 hours. Doesn't seem like much but when i was only hand expressing about 2-3mls each time it was as precious as gold! Unfortunately i didnt quite have enough for one feed so babies each ended up having 2-3mls donor breast milk the whole time the rest i was able to provide.
I spent as much time as i could by their sides, was hard at times as they were each in separate rooms at points so would spent limited time with each baby.
Was nice still being in hospital as i was able to go down whenever to see the babies i was still in a lot of pain and the constant moving also made it worst however i knew my babies needed me more. On friday i got discharged, we spent the whole day in the hospital and packing up my room which i spent a total of 7 weeks in was a relief. Although i was so nervous about being separated from my babies. The drive home was weird i hadn't been in a car for such a long time as well as my home. I was sore tired and sad, i was expressing every 3 hours so even though the babies weren't home i had to get up i found this hard as i could hardly walk far and getting in and out of bed was hard.
My mum, dad, sister her partner and kids arrived that night was so nice to see my family and was overjoyed although the constant pain from surgery and being parted from my babies was constant. The first week was the hardest week of my life not only was i overjoyed my babies were here but i was so tired from the long days spent at nicu, recovering and learning to establish my milk by expressing.
The babies were on CPAP which was the next step to breathing on their own, its like a mask over the babies face with nozzles into their nose, they were breathing on their own although this provided assistance so they didn't over work themselves. Kane was able to start changing the nappies in the second days he was nervous as they were so little. But was such an enjoyable time for him bonding with his 3 newborn babies. My first cuddle was with Indigo when she was 3 days old i was so nervous but as soon as she was placed on my chest it felt right and in the that moment i was in love all over again .. I was lost in the moment it was so precious and i finally got my first contact with one of my babies. As they were little and needed assistance they could only be handled when the nicu nurses thought they were up to it. The next cuddle i got was with miller and same again overwhelming love and joy. Esmae i got to cuddle when she was 7 day old. She was the most fragile and they were worried about her, but she loved having the cuddles and coped really well with them.
Miller was such a fighter he managed to be off CPAP on day 5 and proceeded into special care nursery on day 7, Esmae and indigo however were still having CPAP assistance.
When we would arrive home we both felt like we weren't parents as it was so hard my emotions were all over the place, i felt so complete at the hospital and then so empty at home. I really understood the phrase unconditional love and how much love i had for each of my babies. Kane also got a cuddle with Indigo in her first week which he loved and as they got stronger we got more cuddles! It made it all worth it. By the end of their first week i was finally starting to manage a lot easier with the pain and recovery i just couldn't wait to be able to have all my babies to myself. I knew we would be a few weeks away from that but that hope was what kept me going and talking to all the other mothers and fathers going through what i was in the hospital i made some great friends.
The day that changed everything - 30 weeks
What an accomplishment i felt to make 30 weeks! I was so proud of my three little troopers for hanging on. Reality was on our door stop at this stage as we knew this was the last couple of days before the babies would arrive and our lives would be changed forever!
So many emotions, i was getting more and more nervous not so much about the surgery but about their arrival what condition they would be in and of course becoming a triplet mum! Kane like always was a great support would help me through the times i wondered if we had made the right decision with delivering them on tuesday.
It was almost like time was in slow mo leading up til the big event .. Yet it also looking back went a lot quicker than i ever imagined. Looking back over my pregnancy which was soon to be ending i felt a sense of sadness as i knew i was protecting them as much as i could now but once they are out it is up to them to work.
TUESDAY 6th AUGUST 2013 - the most memorable day of our lives
With having a c section i was not aloud to eat 8 hours b4 the op so at midnight the night nurse brought me in a milo and some toast to keep me going til after the op. I managed to sleep off and on although the constant toilet visits and then trying to put aside all my thoughts made it difficult. At 5am the nurses came in to tell me to start getting ready, icant describe how i felt although putting my gown on and feeling my tummy and my precious cargo kicking i remember thinking enjoy those last few kicks babies coz soon youll be starting your fight to survive.
I called kane and said they were taking me down early, he rushed up to the room and managed to met me at the door b4 heading down to theatre. All of the nurses on wished me well although i have on another planet. Amazingly i felt calm and relaxed, when we got down there we were prepped and had the last moments as a couple. Our lives were about to change... A LOT!!
Next stage was the epidural and spinal block wasnt that pleasant but i thought it would be lot worst the inly annoying thing was i had to get it topped up 3 times as it wasnt taking affect .. This meant more waiting and freaking out, i could see some of the theatre and they had described to me what to expect. But as soon as i entered the room (without kane as he had to wait not sure what for) i looked around and seeing 3 set areas for MY bubs and justa mountain of nicu nurses doctors and midwives it really hit me.
As kane finally entered the sheet was up and he looked pale, i think this was when it become surreal for him too. They asked if i wanted to know when they started, i said no they said we already have! Thank goodness for the epidural! My head started spinning i felt cold i was shaking and i was about to throw up, i kept telling them i felt sick, they had a warm towel across my chest to keep me warm, i really was worried about that. They told me that i would start feeling pressure and they were right it actually felt like i was getting run over by a truck or getting kicked in the stomach my body keep jerking and i felt so uncomfortable and sore that they decided to top me up again as needed to keep me still and calm. They started the surgery at 10.05am and at 10.13 our first beautiful girl entered the world. Baby A was here and in that first moment of when kane and i become parents it was an overwhelming experience that i just cried and cried, in the spilt second of her entering she was gone, my baby girl taken to her crib to be assessed i think she made a slight sound but then nothing my heart was in my throat i now felt sick with worry is she ok is she breathing? But i had no time as it was now 10.15am and Baby B was here another baby girl my heart filled with more love it is understand to say how much love i felt to this new baby, she too was taken to her bay although if i tilted my head to the side i could kind of see them working on her. Although that was just as hard as all i could see was this little baby girl struggling to breathe. The neonatal doctor that was in charge kept telling me that they were good they were having some difficultly breathing on their own so needed extra assistance. Then the surgeon said i can only locate a leg, eeek where was my baby hiding .. But at 10.17am our baby boy (Baby C) arrived and he actually let out a little cry what a nice relief although like the others he was taking to his area and had them working on him. Kane was able to go around to see each of them although he said those first moments he felt sick with worry as our little babies really were working hard to breathe. The doctor came back to tell me that they were all doing well and were all on ventilators to let them rest (this machine worked as their lungs and keep them breathing).
Kane left as the babies left the room and went to nicu the neonatal intensive care unit. I was in the room full of strangers as they finished the c section. I felt alone upset and every other emotion as well my babies were gone kane was gone i just cried and cried and cried.
After they had finished i felt weird, although i was still highly drugged my tummy had gone down a lot and i just felt empty. I went through to recovery where kane met me after and explained that our babies were all doing well and had been weighed.
Baby A who got named Esmae Michelle weighed 1354g (2p 15oz)
Baby B who got named Indigo (Indi) Jane weighed 1351g (2p 15oz)
Baby C who got named Miller Benjamin weighed 1483g (3p 4oz)
And i finally got to see some pictures of beauties, even with all the tubes they were simply perfection! After awhile i was getting transferred back to the ward, i was able to bipass nicu and quickly see my bubs, i had vaguely seen miller and indigo but hasnt seen esmae since she arrived. It was surreal seeing them in the humidity cribs they looked so small but prefect. They were mine, i just wanted more then anything to hold and nurse them but i knew i couldnt. Then they said i had to go up to the ward i was thankful for those precious minutes. Back on the ward was weird it was like the world had changed except all i had was three photos reminding me my babies were downstairs fighting!
A few hours later and learning to hand express i thought i was ready yo go back down i was dying to see them again, the nurse said if u can shower and get in the wheelchair you can go down. Easy i thought.. However my body had a different opinion i managed with help to walk to the shower and had one, after trying to get dressed was when i went blank. I fainted thankfully in the arms of kane. And that was me for the next hour i remember trying to make my body listen to me but it was interested. I wasnt going anywhere in the shower chair kane holding my head i just wanted to get to the wheelchair. After fainting again that was it the nurses said what i knew was coming bed was the only place i was going. My babies would have to wait to tomorrow. Kane was able to go down every now and then to check them and give me updates. Then he went home i was having to wake every 3hours to continue hand expressing. Which was so hard without my babies although i knew it was for the best. What a day!!
So many emotions, i was getting more and more nervous not so much about the surgery but about their arrival what condition they would be in and of course becoming a triplet mum! Kane like always was a great support would help me through the times i wondered if we had made the right decision with delivering them on tuesday.
It was almost like time was in slow mo leading up til the big event .. Yet it also looking back went a lot quicker than i ever imagined. Looking back over my pregnancy which was soon to be ending i felt a sense of sadness as i knew i was protecting them as much as i could now but once they are out it is up to them to work.
TUESDAY 6th AUGUST 2013 - the most memorable day of our lives
With having a c section i was not aloud to eat 8 hours b4 the op so at midnight the night nurse brought me in a milo and some toast to keep me going til after the op. I managed to sleep off and on although the constant toilet visits and then trying to put aside all my thoughts made it difficult. At 5am the nurses came in to tell me to start getting ready, icant describe how i felt although putting my gown on and feeling my tummy and my precious cargo kicking i remember thinking enjoy those last few kicks babies coz soon youll be starting your fight to survive.
I called kane and said they were taking me down early, he rushed up to the room and managed to met me at the door b4 heading down to theatre. All of the nurses on wished me well although i have on another planet. Amazingly i felt calm and relaxed, when we got down there we were prepped and had the last moments as a couple. Our lives were about to change... A LOT!!
Next stage was the epidural and spinal block wasnt that pleasant but i thought it would be lot worst the inly annoying thing was i had to get it topped up 3 times as it wasnt taking affect .. This meant more waiting and freaking out, i could see some of the theatre and they had described to me what to expect. But as soon as i entered the room (without kane as he had to wait not sure what for) i looked around and seeing 3 set areas for MY bubs and justa mountain of nicu nurses doctors and midwives it really hit me.
As kane finally entered the sheet was up and he looked pale, i think this was when it become surreal for him too. They asked if i wanted to know when they started, i said no they said we already have! Thank goodness for the epidural! My head started spinning i felt cold i was shaking and i was about to throw up, i kept telling them i felt sick, they had a warm towel across my chest to keep me warm, i really was worried about that. They told me that i would start feeling pressure and they were right it actually felt like i was getting run over by a truck or getting kicked in the stomach my body keep jerking and i felt so uncomfortable and sore that they decided to top me up again as needed to keep me still and calm. They started the surgery at 10.05am and at 10.13 our first beautiful girl entered the world. Baby A was here and in that first moment of when kane and i become parents it was an overwhelming experience that i just cried and cried, in the spilt second of her entering she was gone, my baby girl taken to her crib to be assessed i think she made a slight sound but then nothing my heart was in my throat i now felt sick with worry is she ok is she breathing? But i had no time as it was now 10.15am and Baby B was here another baby girl my heart filled with more love it is understand to say how much love i felt to this new baby, she too was taken to her bay although if i tilted my head to the side i could kind of see them working on her. Although that was just as hard as all i could see was this little baby girl struggling to breathe. The neonatal doctor that was in charge kept telling me that they were good they were having some difficultly breathing on their own so needed extra assistance. Then the surgeon said i can only locate a leg, eeek where was my baby hiding .. But at 10.17am our baby boy (Baby C) arrived and he actually let out a little cry what a nice relief although like the others he was taking to his area and had them working on him. Kane was able to go around to see each of them although he said those first moments he felt sick with worry as our little babies really were working hard to breathe. The doctor came back to tell me that they were all doing well and were all on ventilators to let them rest (this machine worked as their lungs and keep them breathing).
Kane left as the babies left the room and went to nicu the neonatal intensive care unit. I was in the room full of strangers as they finished the c section. I felt alone upset and every other emotion as well my babies were gone kane was gone i just cried and cried and cried.
After they had finished i felt weird, although i was still highly drugged my tummy had gone down a lot and i just felt empty. I went through to recovery where kane met me after and explained that our babies were all doing well and had been weighed.
Baby A who got named Esmae Michelle weighed 1354g (2p 15oz)
Baby B who got named Indigo (Indi) Jane weighed 1351g (2p 15oz)
Baby C who got named Miller Benjamin weighed 1483g (3p 4oz)
And i finally got to see some pictures of beauties, even with all the tubes they were simply perfection! After awhile i was getting transferred back to the ward, i was able to bipass nicu and quickly see my bubs, i had vaguely seen miller and indigo but hasnt seen esmae since she arrived. It was surreal seeing them in the humidity cribs they looked so small but prefect. They were mine, i just wanted more then anything to hold and nurse them but i knew i couldnt. Then they said i had to go up to the ward i was thankful for those precious minutes. Back on the ward was weird it was like the world had changed except all i had was three photos reminding me my babies were downstairs fighting!
A few hours later and learning to hand express i thought i was ready yo go back down i was dying to see them again, the nurse said if u can shower and get in the wheelchair you can go down. Easy i thought.. However my body had a different opinion i managed with help to walk to the shower and had one, after trying to get dressed was when i went blank. I fainted thankfully in the arms of kane. And that was me for the next hour i remember trying to make my body listen to me but it was interested. I wasnt going anywhere in the shower chair kane holding my head i just wanted to get to the wheelchair. After fainting again that was it the nurses said what i knew was coming bed was the only place i was going. My babies would have to wait to tomorrow. Kane was able to go down every now and then to check them and give me updates. Then he went home i was having to wake every 3hours to continue hand expressing. Which was so hard without my babies although i knew it was for the best. What a day!!
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