Saturday, 1 March 2014

The long days pay off - September

Now babies were steadily improving, at 4 weeks old they didn't even know what existed outside a hospital. Some moments I would get really down or jealous on my travels to the hospital I would often find myself watching other mothers or pregnant woman. I had to constantly remind myself that this was the best thing for my babies to become strong enough to get home.

The next massive phase we were approaching was breastfeeding. There is so much pressure of mothers of all ages on how to best fed your babies and my decision I made was to try. I was not going to stress over it I would try and see where it lead me. In saying that I can be a very determined person and as soon as I started I convinced myself I could do it. For mothers that have either tried to breastfed or have its not as easy as it looks. I had spent the first 4 weeks expressing 2-3 hourly  (4hrly overnight) so I was making a lot of milk. When I first started to introduce the breast Miller was the first to try and at gestation of 34 was able to latch on but doing that would exhaust him to sleep. So this went on for a few days and as Indigo and Esmae were introduced as they became more stable the same situation. It was a lot of work for my small babies who weighed around 1.7-2kg now. The odd time they would suckle a little milk but because of my strong flow it took awhile for them to get used to it. There were moments I would just cry from being so exhausted. In the hospital they are strict on their routines and times. So babies were fed every 3 hours by tube, Esmae and Miller were at the same time and Indi was the next hour after them. I was spending around 45mins on average with each of them to try and latch and feed them. Some feeds they did really well and only got topped up half tube feeds other times they wouldn't wake at all. When they were 35 weeks adjusted (5 weeks old) they were able to have little feds and their suck was getting stronger. My days were full on to say the least but in the back of  my mind I kept telling myself it is worth it just stick at it. Kane was a great help and support, once we started trying  to twin fed I needed a lot of help. I would latch the first baby on and then with help either from the nurses or Kane I would try and feed 2. This was awkward, I had no idea what I was barely doing and wondered If I ever would. The thing I found was practice doesn't make perfect but gets you used to it and a lot better and finding what works. The days in hospital were still long and tiring, I look back now and actually wonder how I survived! But in the moment we knew no different and when your in those situation you seem just to make it work. 

Babies still quite often got tests done either head ultrasounds to check for brain bleeds, xrays of body, blood tests, eye examination which were so brutal parents were told not to stay there and watch, even from the expressing room I could hear the heart aching cry that were my babies. The greater good I would keep telling myself. The docs did there rounds every day and every second day babies got reviewed so that meant a full body examination. Even at 5 weeks old I could not believe the journey that my 3 little fighters had been through.

With the babies doing extremely well and getting close to being off all machines meant there was the possibility of them being transferred to another hospital. The hospital that was closer to us only had 10 beds in their unit and with having 3 babies meant unlikely to have room. One day which may I add was just terrible, (got a speeding ticket on way to hospital) and then get to hospital and the nurse say to me that my babies are being transferred to a hospital about 30mins opposite direction from home which meant Kane would only be able to visit on weekends. I broke down I was so so so upset.  They said 2 would go in one ambulance and one in another. I wondered how I would cope the buses there were not as frequent and would take ages! After talking to kane who was not happy at all about this I spoke up and told them that I wouldn't cope being their all week on my own at a hospital where I know no one. They listened in the end thank goodness, and realised babies wouldn't be close to getting home by this stage as I was getting them to fed more and more off me.

The day they turned 6 weeks old they got their jabs and taken off all machines. I was breastfeeding all 3 of them their days feeds (3-4 feeds each) and they were offered bottles through the night. When babies were 36weeks + 2 days / 6weeks 2 days old they told us they though they were ready to go to parent crafting, (a room in the nicu like a motel room when its just the parents and babies to see how everybody copes and If the babies feed and sleep alright.) we were excited and so nervous the whole way through so far we had the help of nurses now we were about to do it on our own.

The first night we were on edge and full of adrenalin. It was a massive new experience having them on our own and although we were probably stressed to our eye balls it felt so good to finally be our wee family. Kane was able to help a lot with the feeding because I was still expressing 8 times a day were able to bottle fed the baby that I wasn't breastfeeding. Feeds were still taking upwards of 30mins and it was long process of that and burping  etc. The first night we got a total of 1.5 hours total spread over in little stints. I don't think it really hit us til later that night but we kept going pretty much just feeding changing and burping 24/7. Before we got to get discharged we had to get babies weighed as they were all of suck feeds opposed to some tube feds it used up a lot more energy which resulted in weight loss. All of them loss but docs were happy as babies were feeding ok. So it was time to take our precious cargo home. We couldn't believe so at 6 weeks + 5 days old the babies entered the big wide world. You could imagine our drive home, and finally getting them to our home where they belonged. Kane had the next 2 weeks off which was a life saver and to be completely honest I don't remember much of those first few weeks at home.

They were 3hourly fed as all under 3kg still, which meant fed times were 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, 11pm, 2am 5am everyday. Feeds took about on average 1 -2 hours so some nights we got 1 hour sleep between feeds. I was also still expressing 8 times a day and breastfeeding each feed for 2 babies. The reason being I was making so much milk if I didn't express I would lose a lot and probably get mastitis. I began to slowly take out every 2nd express so was able to express morning lunch and before bed. Although we were the most tired we have ever been in our lives we were loving having the babies home and having them all to us. We had to go back to hospital for regular check ups which was a mission although had to be done.  

When Kane was off work we were even able to make use of the pram and get out for some walks we loved getting outside finally after spending so much time stuck in a hospital and plus the babies loved the pram and always slept well.

Photos:
 In their car seats
 First play all together at home 
 Sleeping arrangements

The beast a.k.a - our pram :)

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