Sleep training, does it work? - June 2015

One of the biggest struggles a lot of new parents face is the challenge of adapting to minimal sleep following the birth of your baby/babies. It is one of the things you can not understand til that point and lately I found that it had become a huge problem me and to my family. 

From the moment we were told we were expecting triplets we were somewhat excited, we knew it would be hard work, we knew we woudn't get much sleep but we were ready and willing to give it our best. Which looking back I think we have with Esmae, Indigo and Miller not far off two (August) we can't believe how quick time has gone. We have nurtured three tiny babies into three beautiful children who I am so proud of. 

Ill give some background as to why we choose to do sleep training. After 22 months of having our triplets we had managed to have 5 full nights sleep ever, some nights were ok only getting up once or twice then there were some nights we didnt even manage a couple of hours. We knew this was expected and the first year I managed very well on the little sleep we got, although as they got older we expected them to sleep better and more than they were. To be honest from the lack of sleep my memory is at some points blank so parts of this are hard to write. 

The babies had always been in such a good routine, the going to bed part was never an issue we always have them in bed by 7Pm. But when we got into bed it would be how many times will we be up tonight, not how many hours sleep can I get. So most of the research I looked into was changing the bedtime routine before they went to bed and that will help them sleep better. We also looked into natural remedy's, and wasted a lot of money on things we thought would help. 

What is came down to was when one would wake, they could usually wake the other two, so as soon as they did we got up to settle them most of the time by bottle. We also tried the calming stroking their face, or rubbing their backs which usually ended worst as they would get even more worked up, all of the different approaches we took just simply didn't work for us. 

With constant trips to the doctors as they always seem to get every bug that goes around they could tell how tired I was, on a couple of occasions I even asked if they could give them something to help them sleep, of course the answer was NO and it will get better soon. A couple of months ago I could feel myself getting more and more drained, never had any energy and was often feeling down about things. The babies who were now not babies but very clever children knew exactly how to keep us up through the night, the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be darker than ever and I wondered when I would ever get some sleep. 

I felt so bad for Kane who had to keep his focus at work all day and some nights was up as much as me, of course with the stress of no sleep we often had arguments and was getting to the point we both knew we had to do something to change the habits which was now daily life to the kids.

I had then heard from someone that this person had tried it and it worked, I messaged her to ask some questions about it and she decided to come over and discuss it with me. The thought of sleep training made both Kane and I quite nervous, we knew our children were so used to waking frequently and wondered if they would cope. 

The basis of sleep training we decided to go for was an approach called the extinction method which pretty much means to extinguish any bad habits put in place and for the children to learn how to sleep by self settling.  We kept the normal bedtime routine as it worked for us and it was just when they woke through the night you go in and say in a nice and but firm manner 'its sleeptime' then lie the child down and walk out. 5 minitues later go in and do same thing, then 10 mins, then 10 mins then 15 and 15 minutes til they settle. So in many ways the cry it out method. It was so scary to think we were going to try this as we had never really let them cry it out. But the thing we had to keep in mind was we didnt sleep too and it was time for the children to get some better habits in place. 

Both kane and I are forever grateful to Bec who helped us immensely through our sleep training journey and we will always be so thankful for everything you did, it has actually been life changing!

Im not going to lie, its not easy and some nights the kids got the point some nights they tested and tested til they gave in. But the results have been amazing, we no longer have to make 5 bottles before in prep of the night ahead or go to bed dreading going to sleep as we knew we would be up soon, but now can happily go to bed and look forward to the morning/day ahead. We are still up usually around once or twice a night but that usually is just to say 'sleeptime now' and walk out and as soon as you walk out they dont even cry or anything im sure we will have the odd night that doesnt work and we will have to be up due to sickness or teething but we will know that overall we are getting so much sleep its great.

I know there are a lot of people who dont believe in sleep training babies, and it took me til 22 months before we needed to make the change but if you think you would like to try it please message me or ask what we did! If it has worked for me and my triplets it may work for you. 

Where does the time go - March 2015

Well I cannot believe how long it has been since I have sat down to write a blog, lately I have missed it and have a few people asking me if I be updating it, well YES i will and will start with a catch up session of how life has been over the last 9 months.

The reason I ended up stopping for such a long time was winter those cursed months of agony, not just the weather but the coughs, colds and bugs that come with it and being in Dunedin of course our winter lasts approx 6 months! 
We pretty much had an illness of some sort for those months we had two admissions into hospital when he had the vomiting bug and went through endless amounts of tissues, panadol and anything else to keep us sane. With the babies being prem their immune wasnt very strong so it always hit them so much harder. Well looking back we survived, it probably was the hardest time with the no sleep and three constant sick cranky bubs but we got there and im hoping so much that this winter season we have a bigger immune, otherwise I may just go loopy!

We have had their first birthday, we have two walkers, we have around 15 teeth (Esmae 11ish could be more, Miller has 4, and Indi 0) funny how babies can be so different even though born at the same time. We are finally getting some hair enough for those spout pony's, lots more talking and words recently and LOTS of fighting. Deep down they love each other but at the moment they just love to steal the toys of each other. 

We had a great Christmas, went away on our first holiday to central and we had the best time and babies loved exploring the new places and of course getting to eat all that nice food you get while your away, speaking of food we now have 3 massive appetites that eat us out of house and home. I have to admit they are pretty good and try everything sometimes im surprised what food they like. 

Esmae is a character, to say the least first born and full of attitude, determination and cheekiness! She is the lover and hater all is one, shes loud and demands everyone full attention. She keeps us on our toes but we have lots of laughs watching her.

Indigo is the sweetest little thing with a smile to match, she honestly has the best nature. She is happy go easy girl with not a care in the world. She melts my heart, she is constantly entertained by the chaos that goes on in our house. 

Miller the little brother, loves playing with his cars, outside and also is pretty domesticated, he loves helping with the housework, always wanting to vacuum, fold the washing and wipe down anything, he is also the most caring he is often helping his sisters or trying to give them a cuddle. Although if his dad is around he is his little shadow.

The days, weeks and months just fly! We are still loving our busy life and I hope now to keep this a more regular thing.

Battling sickness - April/May

Sleep? What is that? We have struck our first set of bugs! It was bound to happen but was worst than imaginable. With the winter months approaching so was the cold weather. We first started to notice Esmae become very clingy and go off her food then it was like a domino affect onto Indi and Miller. Off to the docs to check them out, Esmae had a double ear infection and bronchitis, Miller a single ear infection and viral infection and Indi a viral infection. I felt terribly sad for my sick little people they were just miserable and all they wanted was cuddles, this was also a bit tricky as sometimes they didn't like sharing their mummy. Thankfully after a week we were on the mend although it wasn't for long we are now to date still battling bloody ear infections and virus's. Since their first set of bugs Esmae has pretty much been on antibiotics continuously and Miller and Indi been on quite a lot too, thank goodness its free doctors visits for babies or we would be broke!

Weights to date at 8 months old Esmae is now 7.01kg, Miller 6.4kg and Indi 5.4kg. So they have grown heaps again and quite a noticeable different between the girls. Miller and Esmae have started rocking on all fours and Miller has mastered sitting up on his own. In the next couple of weeks Miller decides to also master crawling and is able to get from crawling to sitting. He is into everything, loves to follow us around and to find everything that is adult associated iphone, tv remote, cords, ipad and everything that could cause trouble. Esmae has taken a back seat with moving as she has been pretty sick and enjoying cuddles instead of floor play. And little miss is loving rolling around on the floor.

With Indi we are now getting some early invention help from the Vera Hayward clinic (development assistance) with being born at 30 weeks and sharing the womb with two others it was always going to create extra risks. We are luckily enough to have 3 beautiful children, two who have caught up well to their age and milestones and Indi just having a bit of difficulty mastering some of her milestones. She has what the paeds refer to as Hypertonia (low muscle tone) it pretty much means from being breech and having a traumatic birth her body has been formed with muscles that are not quite as strong as other babies. As all parents would be we have found this hard but at the end of the day it does not change our wee girl she is the sweetest girl and she will achieve things in her own way and in her own time. It also doesn't change how much we love her, if anything we love her more for the courage she has shown to try and work of those everyday milestones like rolling and has now mastered it well.

Day to day had became easier the mornings were the busiest with feeds then breakie and the task of getting dressed. Some days we were organised and the mornings would go smoothly and others would be just pure chaos and feel like we are getting no where. Bath/Shower time is getting easier the bigger they get as well, they now don't mind the water on their faces and with Indi in her shower chair and the other two sitting beside her the often giggle between each other.

I could watch the three of them interact all day long, the innocence, the laughter and the fighting that goes on between them is hilarious. Some times it gets to the stage where Miller loves the reaction of the girls crying so he crawls past and try and get their eyes or ears. Most of the time they love each others company thanks goodness :)

Sorry photo wont upload at the moment will add to when computer lets me.

Messy eaters and on the roll - Feb/March

We now are noticing how much more active our babies are becoming, after a few weeks of trying to roll over the first born Esmae started the tribe off with showing off her new tricks, it wasn't long before Miller noticed and realised he wanted to try and do it as well. Now with two on the roll they were now able to move around, although it was great we now had to watch everything! After a few weeks Indi too joined in on the fun and decided it was time for her to begin rolling around too :)

Starting solids was exciting, at almost 6 months old we noticed they kept watching us eat and were waking lots more frequently so we thought be a good time to introduce food. I started them on some avocado and after a few days moved onto pumpkin then kumera, kumera being the clear favourite. One spoon seemed enough for the first week or so then as they got bigger so did there appetite. They were still a bit small for their highchairs so feed times quickly became awkward with me usually having one in swing, one propped on couch and one on my lap. Luckily we put high chairs up and life became a little easier for me. After 4-5 weeks of starting solids we had gradually increased to 3 meals a day and lot more washing!!

With the babies getting a bit older we were able to get out a bit more so we visited the local playcentre and decided it would be good fun for the babies. Some mornings it was a mission to say the least but it felt good to be taking the babies out. Sometimes it was easier to stay at home but that can get a bit boring day in day out. Although at home we started having fun in water on the warm days, even explored gloop another. With the older age I did find them more full on through the day but it was a lot more rewarding with the endless smiles and giggles we shared.

In March the babies turned 7 months old and we decided to try Indi back on the formula this time she drank it well and didn't vomit it up every time, this was a relief as my milk was decreasing by the week, Esmae and Miller were still mostly BF, although had 1-2 bottles a day as well :) Whatever we tried to help Miller sleep through the night didn't work, the girls were great they would sleep usually 8pm til 6am however Miller needed either one or two midnight snacks, on the odd occasion he would sleep through which was just great (either that or I was too tired and slept through )

Some photos added were from last post as well (Dec/Jan)

 Eating in the highchair

 Esmae and me on the plane home

 My mum and Miller on the plane

 Esmae playing in the gloop

 Cuddles with Dadda after he got home from Oz

 Indigo playing in the gloop

 Miller trying avocado for first time

 Water fun in a bucket

 First Christmas as a family

 Indigo soaking her feet

Kanes Mum holding Indi on the plane

 



Back to NZ and the festive season - Dec/Jan

The big move was approaching quickly and once our mums arrived it was real. It was our last week in Aussie, mixed emotions I was glad to be heading home but there was so many amazing memories Kane and I had, had over the two years we lived there and many things I would miss (especially the weather!).

Our mums did the best job of making the house look like new which helped as cleaning had been a struggle with three babies. Each day the house was looking more empty and the nerves were settling in, how on earth is this move going to  go.

At the airport we had 5 large bags/suitcases, 3 car seats, 1 very large triplet pram, a backpack, a babybag, handbags and three very cute little people. We said our goodbyes to Kane as he was staying on a week longer to finalise everything. It felt so weird leaving for the last time, but as we were kept busy it was hard to actually think to much about it. amazingly going through customs, immigration and boarding the plane went fairly well no hiccups and all the staff were great at helping. on the plane we fed the babies and then they just cuddled in as we set off. Around half way back a few tears and cranky moments but overall no one would have known there was 3 babies on the plane. Getting back into Dunedin however was a different story it was a long day they had missed there last feed and Dunedin is bloody slow and frustrating. We were welcomed with family which was so lovely but with three screaming babies it was not fun at all. I couldn't think, so much to do and was pretty  overwhelmed.

The next week I spent and my Mum and Dads while starting to set up the house to make it nice and homely. The change of time, climate, no Kane resulted in three unsettled, non sleeping babies. I could say Kane is like my backbone and without him I actually felt lost, I think also the babies missed him as well. We were so glad to have him back and then once we settled into our home the babies got more in sync and started sleeping a bit better but the biggest relief was Kane didn't start work for 4 weeks so we had time to relax and properly settle back into life in NZ. (and the cold weather)

Babies first Christmas was more exciting for us as they just thought it was another day, and to say that they got spoilt is an understatement. But was nice to be able to spend it with our family and friends. We even managed a day trip to Cromwell with the babies and spent some time at Kane's family crib, so was a great break but like all holidays they soon come to an end and 4 weeks went surprisingly quick.

I don't know who was more nervous for Kane to start his new job, we were going great babies were now 5 months old and cheekier than ever and I was doubting myself and if I would cope going back to being on my own. The first couple of days into it and I almost felt incapable and was in tears when Kane would get home and be utterly exhausted but with some help and support I managed to keep going and the each day looked a bit better and as time went on we got into a new routine and they got used to Dad being away through the day.

The babies were now a lot more fun and starting to really show their individual personalities. Esmae the first born is the boss, of her siblings and her parents she will let you know in a hurry if she is not happy but she loves cuddles and her smile is just so infectious. Little Miss Indigo is content and most of the time very placid although behind closed doors can really make a scene, she is instantly lovable with her quiet nature and cute smiles. Last but not least is Mr Miller the cheeky wee devil who has both his parents under his little finger, he is super cute and very serious, although once he warms to people the smiles are endless! From the move back and added stress I had stopped producing as much milk and the babies started to get a little frustrated so after 5 months of exclusively breastfeed we introduced a bottle a day of formula, Indi didn't go to well on it so she just stuck to the breastfeeding. I was proud to make it that long but happy to give them formula as they were growing so quickly and needed more fuel. We were also started to look into solids. How quick do these little people grow!

Big decisions - November

For anyone with children that live away from their family will know its hard. We had always discussed going back to NZ after a few years but once the bubs came we knew we had to make a decision, we were finding it hard without that family support. We really enjoyed living in Brisbane and for almost being there 2 years we felt settled, but we decided to make the decision to move home to be closer to our family and friends. Once decided Kane looked for work, we struck it lucky as after applying for a couple one came back and had a Skype interview, I am a big believer in what is meant to be will be so we just hoped for the best outcome. The following week Kane said to me they want him to go home for  an interview so off Kane flew home on a early sunday morning and came home the Monday night. I however was on my own not only through the day but for 2 whole days. The babies must have known I was on my own as they behaved pretty well. Lets just say thank goodness for pizza and grocery delivery. 

The night sleeps were starting to stretch out to round 5 hours now and getting longer each week. we couldn't believe it starting to get more sleep makes you feel like a new person. (Looking back now I actually think i got more sleep when they were younger!)

Esmae, Indi and Miller were really starting to blossom already 3 months old, smiles were now a frequent thing which was just priceless makes everything worth it when you see the innocence of a baby's smile. They were focussing a lot more of toys, books and faces. Really starting to know who  we were and even become a bit cheeky for attention. Witching hour had also set in, from 6pm onwards the house was like screaming nightmare. Not sure what it was but nothing would settle them and usually they set each other off. Bath nights which we did every 2-3 were chaos, but most of the time they enjoyed it.

Kane got the job so we were going home, now to move countries with 3 4 month olds, HELP! Luckily both our mums offered to help so they were arriving Dec to help pack and clean and take the babies back to NZ. Once the decision was finalised it was like a relief the babies would grow up where we did and be around all their family.

Life as we know it - October

Things were in full swing, we were getting used to our new babies, new life and new way of doing things. With Kane back to work I was at home with the babies, the first few days freaked me out, how will I cope, how will I do it and many other questions but I guess I knew I had too as there wasn't any other options. Day to day we had a routine in place, babies were still on 3hr feeds and started to extend over night to almost 3.5-4hours  (sometimes). Because they were still so small they did sleep a lot, so with them feeding at the same time (double breastfeed and one bottle expressed milk) was about to do this on my own taking around 45mins -1 hour all going well, so if they went back to sleep i got around 1-1.5 hours to clean, cook, express, eat or rest. Esmae unfortunately got reflux which wasn't fun at all. My memory around this time is a bit hazy but one thing I do clearly remember is her vomiting/power chucking everywhere at least 2-3 times daily and usually over me and her siblings. It wasn't fun at the time we kept thinking surely it cant last forever, and sure enough eventually it faded.

I was still managing to fully breastfeed, expressing still 2-3 times a day on top of breastfeeding at least 2 each feed. Its fair to say I felt like a milking machine. I had to eat so much as I constantly felt hungry, I  didn't mind. Not one bit. I had a lot of people comment and ask why I was so determined to breastfeed all my babies. I think for me it came down to the fact if I gave birth to one baby I would have been as committed to feeding them, so I felt with them being so early it was the best thing I could do for them and I was just gifted with lots of milk so maybe it all worked out for a reason.


The babies were growing and half way through the month the babies reached their full term date. It was like celebrating their first milestone. Both Kane and I were already proud of our 3 little munchkins and every day they seemed more alert and learning so many new things. We still tried to get put a bit to the shops or walks, for us triplets was the norm and for so many other people they are not. So much attention, so many questions, some people are lovely and we don't mind talking to them and others can be rather rude. I think its a case of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. But we were proud parents so we don't let it get to us. I think I also need to make a fact sheet for people to hand out so I don't have to repeat myself all the time. Haha.