Sleep training, does it work? - June 2015

One of the biggest struggles a lot of new parents face is the challenge of adapting to minimal sleep following the birth of your baby/babies. It is one of the things you can not understand til that point and lately I found that it had become a huge problem me and to my family. 

From the moment we were told we were expecting triplets we were somewhat excited, we knew it would be hard work, we knew we woudn't get much sleep but we were ready and willing to give it our best. Which looking back I think we have with Esmae, Indigo and Miller not far off two (August) we can't believe how quick time has gone. We have nurtured three tiny babies into three beautiful children who I am so proud of. 

Ill give some background as to why we choose to do sleep training. After 22 months of having our triplets we had managed to have 5 full nights sleep ever, some nights were ok only getting up once or twice then there were some nights we didnt even manage a couple of hours. We knew this was expected and the first year I managed very well on the little sleep we got, although as they got older we expected them to sleep better and more than they were. To be honest from the lack of sleep my memory is at some points blank so parts of this are hard to write. 

The babies had always been in such a good routine, the going to bed part was never an issue we always have them in bed by 7Pm. But when we got into bed it would be how many times will we be up tonight, not how many hours sleep can I get. So most of the research I looked into was changing the bedtime routine before they went to bed and that will help them sleep better. We also looked into natural remedy's, and wasted a lot of money on things we thought would help. 

What is came down to was when one would wake, they could usually wake the other two, so as soon as they did we got up to settle them most of the time by bottle. We also tried the calming stroking their face, or rubbing their backs which usually ended worst as they would get even more worked up, all of the different approaches we took just simply didn't work for us. 

With constant trips to the doctors as they always seem to get every bug that goes around they could tell how tired I was, on a couple of occasions I even asked if they could give them something to help them sleep, of course the answer was NO and it will get better soon. A couple of months ago I could feel myself getting more and more drained, never had any energy and was often feeling down about things. The babies who were now not babies but very clever children knew exactly how to keep us up through the night, the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be darker than ever and I wondered when I would ever get some sleep. 

I felt so bad for Kane who had to keep his focus at work all day and some nights was up as much as me, of course with the stress of no sleep we often had arguments and was getting to the point we both knew we had to do something to change the habits which was now daily life to the kids.

I had then heard from someone that this person had tried it and it worked, I messaged her to ask some questions about it and she decided to come over and discuss it with me. The thought of sleep training made both Kane and I quite nervous, we knew our children were so used to waking frequently and wondered if they would cope. 

The basis of sleep training we decided to go for was an approach called the extinction method which pretty much means to extinguish any bad habits put in place and for the children to learn how to sleep by self settling.  We kept the normal bedtime routine as it worked for us and it was just when they woke through the night you go in and say in a nice and but firm manner 'its sleeptime' then lie the child down and walk out. 5 minitues later go in and do same thing, then 10 mins, then 10 mins then 15 and 15 minutes til they settle. So in many ways the cry it out method. It was so scary to think we were going to try this as we had never really let them cry it out. But the thing we had to keep in mind was we didnt sleep too and it was time for the children to get some better habits in place. 

Both kane and I are forever grateful to Bec who helped us immensely through our sleep training journey and we will always be so thankful for everything you did, it has actually been life changing!

Im not going to lie, its not easy and some nights the kids got the point some nights they tested and tested til they gave in. But the results have been amazing, we no longer have to make 5 bottles before in prep of the night ahead or go to bed dreading going to sleep as we knew we would be up soon, but now can happily go to bed and look forward to the morning/day ahead. We are still up usually around once or twice a night but that usually is just to say 'sleeptime now' and walk out and as soon as you walk out they dont even cry or anything im sure we will have the odd night that doesnt work and we will have to be up due to sickness or teething but we will know that overall we are getting so much sleep its great.

I know there are a lot of people who dont believe in sleep training babies, and it took me til 22 months before we needed to make the change but if you think you would like to try it please message me or ask what we did! If it has worked for me and my triplets it may work for you. 

Where does the time go - March 2015

Well I cannot believe how long it has been since I have sat down to write a blog, lately I have missed it and have a few people asking me if I be updating it, well YES i will and will start with a catch up session of how life has been over the last 9 months.

The reason I ended up stopping for such a long time was winter those cursed months of agony, not just the weather but the coughs, colds and bugs that come with it and being in Dunedin of course our winter lasts approx 6 months! 
We pretty much had an illness of some sort for those months we had two admissions into hospital when he had the vomiting bug and went through endless amounts of tissues, panadol and anything else to keep us sane. With the babies being prem their immune wasnt very strong so it always hit them so much harder. Well looking back we survived, it probably was the hardest time with the no sleep and three constant sick cranky bubs but we got there and im hoping so much that this winter season we have a bigger immune, otherwise I may just go loopy!

We have had their first birthday, we have two walkers, we have around 15 teeth (Esmae 11ish could be more, Miller has 4, and Indi 0) funny how babies can be so different even though born at the same time. We are finally getting some hair enough for those spout pony's, lots more talking and words recently and LOTS of fighting. Deep down they love each other but at the moment they just love to steal the toys of each other. 

We had a great Christmas, went away on our first holiday to central and we had the best time and babies loved exploring the new places and of course getting to eat all that nice food you get while your away, speaking of food we now have 3 massive appetites that eat us out of house and home. I have to admit they are pretty good and try everything sometimes im surprised what food they like. 

Esmae is a character, to say the least first born and full of attitude, determination and cheekiness! She is the lover and hater all is one, shes loud and demands everyone full attention. She keeps us on our toes but we have lots of laughs watching her.

Indigo is the sweetest little thing with a smile to match, she honestly has the best nature. She is happy go easy girl with not a care in the world. She melts my heart, she is constantly entertained by the chaos that goes on in our house. 

Miller the little brother, loves playing with his cars, outside and also is pretty domesticated, he loves helping with the housework, always wanting to vacuum, fold the washing and wipe down anything, he is also the most caring he is often helping his sisters or trying to give them a cuddle. Although if his dad is around he is his little shadow.

The days, weeks and months just fly! We are still loving our busy life and I hope now to keep this a more regular thing.

Battling sickness - April/May

Sleep? What is that? We have struck our first set of bugs! It was bound to happen but was worst than imaginable. With the winter months approaching so was the cold weather. We first started to notice Esmae become very clingy and go off her food then it was like a domino affect onto Indi and Miller. Off to the docs to check them out, Esmae had a double ear infection and bronchitis, Miller a single ear infection and viral infection and Indi a viral infection. I felt terribly sad for my sick little people they were just miserable and all they wanted was cuddles, this was also a bit tricky as sometimes they didn't like sharing their mummy. Thankfully after a week we were on the mend although it wasn't for long we are now to date still battling bloody ear infections and virus's. Since their first set of bugs Esmae has pretty much been on antibiotics continuously and Miller and Indi been on quite a lot too, thank goodness its free doctors visits for babies or we would be broke!

Weights to date at 8 months old Esmae is now 7.01kg, Miller 6.4kg and Indi 5.4kg. So they have grown heaps again and quite a noticeable different between the girls. Miller and Esmae have started rocking on all fours and Miller has mastered sitting up on his own. In the next couple of weeks Miller decides to also master crawling and is able to get from crawling to sitting. He is into everything, loves to follow us around and to find everything that is adult associated iphone, tv remote, cords, ipad and everything that could cause trouble. Esmae has taken a back seat with moving as she has been pretty sick and enjoying cuddles instead of floor play. And little miss is loving rolling around on the floor.

With Indi we are now getting some early invention help from the Vera Hayward clinic (development assistance) with being born at 30 weeks and sharing the womb with two others it was always going to create extra risks. We are luckily enough to have 3 beautiful children, two who have caught up well to their age and milestones and Indi just having a bit of difficulty mastering some of her milestones. She has what the paeds refer to as Hypertonia (low muscle tone) it pretty much means from being breech and having a traumatic birth her body has been formed with muscles that are not quite as strong as other babies. As all parents would be we have found this hard but at the end of the day it does not change our wee girl she is the sweetest girl and she will achieve things in her own way and in her own time. It also doesn't change how much we love her, if anything we love her more for the courage she has shown to try and work of those everyday milestones like rolling and has now mastered it well.

Day to day had became easier the mornings were the busiest with feeds then breakie and the task of getting dressed. Some days we were organised and the mornings would go smoothly and others would be just pure chaos and feel like we are getting no where. Bath/Shower time is getting easier the bigger they get as well, they now don't mind the water on their faces and with Indi in her shower chair and the other two sitting beside her the often giggle between each other.

I could watch the three of them interact all day long, the innocence, the laughter and the fighting that goes on between them is hilarious. Some times it gets to the stage where Miller loves the reaction of the girls crying so he crawls past and try and get their eyes or ears. Most of the time they love each others company thanks goodness :)

Sorry photo wont upload at the moment will add to when computer lets me.

Messy eaters and on the roll - Feb/March

We now are noticing how much more active our babies are becoming, after a few weeks of trying to roll over the first born Esmae started the tribe off with showing off her new tricks, it wasn't long before Miller noticed and realised he wanted to try and do it as well. Now with two on the roll they were now able to move around, although it was great we now had to watch everything! After a few weeks Indi too joined in on the fun and decided it was time for her to begin rolling around too :)

Starting solids was exciting, at almost 6 months old we noticed they kept watching us eat and were waking lots more frequently so we thought be a good time to introduce food. I started them on some avocado and after a few days moved onto pumpkin then kumera, kumera being the clear favourite. One spoon seemed enough for the first week or so then as they got bigger so did there appetite. They were still a bit small for their highchairs so feed times quickly became awkward with me usually having one in swing, one propped on couch and one on my lap. Luckily we put high chairs up and life became a little easier for me. After 4-5 weeks of starting solids we had gradually increased to 3 meals a day and lot more washing!!

With the babies getting a bit older we were able to get out a bit more so we visited the local playcentre and decided it would be good fun for the babies. Some mornings it was a mission to say the least but it felt good to be taking the babies out. Sometimes it was easier to stay at home but that can get a bit boring day in day out. Although at home we started having fun in water on the warm days, even explored gloop another. With the older age I did find them more full on through the day but it was a lot more rewarding with the endless smiles and giggles we shared.

In March the babies turned 7 months old and we decided to try Indi back on the formula this time she drank it well and didn't vomit it up every time, this was a relief as my milk was decreasing by the week, Esmae and Miller were still mostly BF, although had 1-2 bottles a day as well :) Whatever we tried to help Miller sleep through the night didn't work, the girls were great they would sleep usually 8pm til 6am however Miller needed either one or two midnight snacks, on the odd occasion he would sleep through which was just great (either that or I was too tired and slept through )

Some photos added were from last post as well (Dec/Jan)

 Eating in the highchair

 Esmae and me on the plane home

 My mum and Miller on the plane

 Esmae playing in the gloop

 Cuddles with Dadda after he got home from Oz

 Indigo playing in the gloop

 Miller trying avocado for first time

 Water fun in a bucket

 First Christmas as a family

 Indigo soaking her feet

Kanes Mum holding Indi on the plane

 



Back to NZ and the festive season - Dec/Jan

The big move was approaching quickly and once our mums arrived it was real. It was our last week in Aussie, mixed emotions I was glad to be heading home but there was so many amazing memories Kane and I had, had over the two years we lived there and many things I would miss (especially the weather!).

Our mums did the best job of making the house look like new which helped as cleaning had been a struggle with three babies. Each day the house was looking more empty and the nerves were settling in, how on earth is this move going to  go.

At the airport we had 5 large bags/suitcases, 3 car seats, 1 very large triplet pram, a backpack, a babybag, handbags and three very cute little people. We said our goodbyes to Kane as he was staying on a week longer to finalise everything. It felt so weird leaving for the last time, but as we were kept busy it was hard to actually think to much about it. amazingly going through customs, immigration and boarding the plane went fairly well no hiccups and all the staff were great at helping. on the plane we fed the babies and then they just cuddled in as we set off. Around half way back a few tears and cranky moments but overall no one would have known there was 3 babies on the plane. Getting back into Dunedin however was a different story it was a long day they had missed there last feed and Dunedin is bloody slow and frustrating. We were welcomed with family which was so lovely but with three screaming babies it was not fun at all. I couldn't think, so much to do and was pretty  overwhelmed.

The next week I spent and my Mum and Dads while starting to set up the house to make it nice and homely. The change of time, climate, no Kane resulted in three unsettled, non sleeping babies. I could say Kane is like my backbone and without him I actually felt lost, I think also the babies missed him as well. We were so glad to have him back and then once we settled into our home the babies got more in sync and started sleeping a bit better but the biggest relief was Kane didn't start work for 4 weeks so we had time to relax and properly settle back into life in NZ. (and the cold weather)

Babies first Christmas was more exciting for us as they just thought it was another day, and to say that they got spoilt is an understatement. But was nice to be able to spend it with our family and friends. We even managed a day trip to Cromwell with the babies and spent some time at Kane's family crib, so was a great break but like all holidays they soon come to an end and 4 weeks went surprisingly quick.

I don't know who was more nervous for Kane to start his new job, we were going great babies were now 5 months old and cheekier than ever and I was doubting myself and if I would cope going back to being on my own. The first couple of days into it and I almost felt incapable and was in tears when Kane would get home and be utterly exhausted but with some help and support I managed to keep going and the each day looked a bit better and as time went on we got into a new routine and they got used to Dad being away through the day.

The babies were now a lot more fun and starting to really show their individual personalities. Esmae the first born is the boss, of her siblings and her parents she will let you know in a hurry if she is not happy but she loves cuddles and her smile is just so infectious. Little Miss Indigo is content and most of the time very placid although behind closed doors can really make a scene, she is instantly lovable with her quiet nature and cute smiles. Last but not least is Mr Miller the cheeky wee devil who has both his parents under his little finger, he is super cute and very serious, although once he warms to people the smiles are endless! From the move back and added stress I had stopped producing as much milk and the babies started to get a little frustrated so after 5 months of exclusively breastfeed we introduced a bottle a day of formula, Indi didn't go to well on it so she just stuck to the breastfeeding. I was proud to make it that long but happy to give them formula as they were growing so quickly and needed more fuel. We were also started to look into solids. How quick do these little people grow!

Big decisions - November

For anyone with children that live away from their family will know its hard. We had always discussed going back to NZ after a few years but once the bubs came we knew we had to make a decision, we were finding it hard without that family support. We really enjoyed living in Brisbane and for almost being there 2 years we felt settled, but we decided to make the decision to move home to be closer to our family and friends. Once decided Kane looked for work, we struck it lucky as after applying for a couple one came back and had a Skype interview, I am a big believer in what is meant to be will be so we just hoped for the best outcome. The following week Kane said to me they want him to go home for  an interview so off Kane flew home on a early sunday morning and came home the Monday night. I however was on my own not only through the day but for 2 whole days. The babies must have known I was on my own as they behaved pretty well. Lets just say thank goodness for pizza and grocery delivery. 

The night sleeps were starting to stretch out to round 5 hours now and getting longer each week. we couldn't believe it starting to get more sleep makes you feel like a new person. (Looking back now I actually think i got more sleep when they were younger!)

Esmae, Indi and Miller were really starting to blossom already 3 months old, smiles were now a frequent thing which was just priceless makes everything worth it when you see the innocence of a baby's smile. They were focussing a lot more of toys, books and faces. Really starting to know who  we were and even become a bit cheeky for attention. Witching hour had also set in, from 6pm onwards the house was like screaming nightmare. Not sure what it was but nothing would settle them and usually they set each other off. Bath nights which we did every 2-3 were chaos, but most of the time they enjoyed it.

Kane got the job so we were going home, now to move countries with 3 4 month olds, HELP! Luckily both our mums offered to help so they were arriving Dec to help pack and clean and take the babies back to NZ. Once the decision was finalised it was like a relief the babies would grow up where we did and be around all their family.

Life as we know it - October

Things were in full swing, we were getting used to our new babies, new life and new way of doing things. With Kane back to work I was at home with the babies, the first few days freaked me out, how will I cope, how will I do it and many other questions but I guess I knew I had too as there wasn't any other options. Day to day we had a routine in place, babies were still on 3hr feeds and started to extend over night to almost 3.5-4hours  (sometimes). Because they were still so small they did sleep a lot, so with them feeding at the same time (double breastfeed and one bottle expressed milk) was about to do this on my own taking around 45mins -1 hour all going well, so if they went back to sleep i got around 1-1.5 hours to clean, cook, express, eat or rest. Esmae unfortunately got reflux which wasn't fun at all. My memory around this time is a bit hazy but one thing I do clearly remember is her vomiting/power chucking everywhere at least 2-3 times daily and usually over me and her siblings. It wasn't fun at the time we kept thinking surely it cant last forever, and sure enough eventually it faded.

I was still managing to fully breastfeed, expressing still 2-3 times a day on top of breastfeeding at least 2 each feed. Its fair to say I felt like a milking machine. I had to eat so much as I constantly felt hungry, I  didn't mind. Not one bit. I had a lot of people comment and ask why I was so determined to breastfeed all my babies. I think for me it came down to the fact if I gave birth to one baby I would have been as committed to feeding them, so I felt with them being so early it was the best thing I could do for them and I was just gifted with lots of milk so maybe it all worked out for a reason.


The babies were growing and half way through the month the babies reached their full term date. It was like celebrating their first milestone. Both Kane and I were already proud of our 3 little munchkins and every day they seemed more alert and learning so many new things. We still tried to get put a bit to the shops or walks, for us triplets was the norm and for so many other people they are not. So much attention, so many questions, some people are lovely and we don't mind talking to them and others can be rather rude. I think its a case of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. But we were proud parents so we don't let it get to us. I think I also need to make a fact sheet for people to hand out so I don't have to repeat myself all the time. Haha.

The long days pay off - September

Now babies were steadily improving, at 4 weeks old they didn't even know what existed outside a hospital. Some moments I would get really down or jealous on my travels to the hospital I would often find myself watching other mothers or pregnant woman. I had to constantly remind myself that this was the best thing for my babies to become strong enough to get home.

The next massive phase we were approaching was breastfeeding. There is so much pressure of mothers of all ages on how to best fed your babies and my decision I made was to try. I was not going to stress over it I would try and see where it lead me. In saying that I can be a very determined person and as soon as I started I convinced myself I could do it. For mothers that have either tried to breastfed or have its not as easy as it looks. I had spent the first 4 weeks expressing 2-3 hourly  (4hrly overnight) so I was making a lot of milk. When I first started to introduce the breast Miller was the first to try and at gestation of 34 was able to latch on but doing that would exhaust him to sleep. So this went on for a few days and as Indigo and Esmae were introduced as they became more stable the same situation. It was a lot of work for my small babies who weighed around 1.7-2kg now. The odd time they would suckle a little milk but because of my strong flow it took awhile for them to get used to it. There were moments I would just cry from being so exhausted. In the hospital they are strict on their routines and times. So babies were fed every 3 hours by tube, Esmae and Miller were at the same time and Indi was the next hour after them. I was spending around 45mins on average with each of them to try and latch and feed them. Some feeds they did really well and only got topped up half tube feeds other times they wouldn't wake at all. When they were 35 weeks adjusted (5 weeks old) they were able to have little feds and their suck was getting stronger. My days were full on to say the least but in the back of  my mind I kept telling myself it is worth it just stick at it. Kane was a great help and support, once we started trying  to twin fed I needed a lot of help. I would latch the first baby on and then with help either from the nurses or Kane I would try and feed 2. This was awkward, I had no idea what I was barely doing and wondered If I ever would. The thing I found was practice doesn't make perfect but gets you used to it and a lot better and finding what works. The days in hospital were still long and tiring, I look back now and actually wonder how I survived! But in the moment we knew no different and when your in those situation you seem just to make it work. 

Babies still quite often got tests done either head ultrasounds to check for brain bleeds, xrays of body, blood tests, eye examination which were so brutal parents were told not to stay there and watch, even from the expressing room I could hear the heart aching cry that were my babies. The greater good I would keep telling myself. The docs did there rounds every day and every second day babies got reviewed so that meant a full body examination. Even at 5 weeks old I could not believe the journey that my 3 little fighters had been through.

With the babies doing extremely well and getting close to being off all machines meant there was the possibility of them being transferred to another hospital. The hospital that was closer to us only had 10 beds in their unit and with having 3 babies meant unlikely to have room. One day which may I add was just terrible, (got a speeding ticket on way to hospital) and then get to hospital and the nurse say to me that my babies are being transferred to a hospital about 30mins opposite direction from home which meant Kane would only be able to visit on weekends. I broke down I was so so so upset.  They said 2 would go in one ambulance and one in another. I wondered how I would cope the buses there were not as frequent and would take ages! After talking to kane who was not happy at all about this I spoke up and told them that I wouldn't cope being their all week on my own at a hospital where I know no one. They listened in the end thank goodness, and realised babies wouldn't be close to getting home by this stage as I was getting them to fed more and more off me.

The day they turned 6 weeks old they got their jabs and taken off all machines. I was breastfeeding all 3 of them their days feeds (3-4 feeds each) and they were offered bottles through the night. When babies were 36weeks + 2 days / 6weeks 2 days old they told us they though they were ready to go to parent crafting, (a room in the nicu like a motel room when its just the parents and babies to see how everybody copes and If the babies feed and sleep alright.) we were excited and so nervous the whole way through so far we had the help of nurses now we were about to do it on our own.

The first night we were on edge and full of adrenalin. It was a massive new experience having them on our own and although we were probably stressed to our eye balls it felt so good to finally be our wee family. Kane was able to help a lot with the feeding because I was still expressing 8 times a day were able to bottle fed the baby that I wasn't breastfeeding. Feeds were still taking upwards of 30mins and it was long process of that and burping  etc. The first night we got a total of 1.5 hours total spread over in little stints. I don't think it really hit us til later that night but we kept going pretty much just feeding changing and burping 24/7. Before we got to get discharged we had to get babies weighed as they were all of suck feeds opposed to some tube feds it used up a lot more energy which resulted in weight loss. All of them loss but docs were happy as babies were feeding ok. So it was time to take our precious cargo home. We couldn't believe so at 6 weeks + 5 days old the babies entered the big wide world. You could imagine our drive home, and finally getting them to our home where they belonged. Kane had the next 2 weeks off which was a life saver and to be completely honest I don't remember much of those first few weeks at home.

They were 3hourly fed as all under 3kg still, which meant fed times were 8am, 11am, 2pm, 5pm, 8pm, 11pm, 2am 5am everyday. Feeds took about on average 1 -2 hours so some nights we got 1 hour sleep between feeds. I was also still expressing 8 times a day and breastfeeding each feed for 2 babies. The reason being I was making so much milk if I didn't express I would lose a lot and probably get mastitis. I began to slowly take out every 2nd express so was able to express morning lunch and before bed. Although we were the most tired we have ever been in our lives we were loving having the babies home and having them all to us. We had to go back to hospital for regular check ups which was a mission although had to be done.  

When Kane was off work we were even able to make use of the pram and get out for some walks we loved getting outside finally after spending so much time stuck in a hospital and plus the babies loved the pram and always slept well.

Photos:

 In their car seats

 First play all together at home 

 Sleeping arrangements

The beast a.k.a - our pram :)

First month - Life inside

Just to note 6 months have passed so I am jogging my memory and recapping this as I go through it. If it seems a bit over the place it probably is as a lot has gone on but ill do my best to try get it in the right order.

Life for Kane at this stage was hectic not only was he back to work full time he was visiting the babies as much as he could after work for a few hours and before work every morning and then call me to give me the update. I was struggling with the long days in NICU, I was beginning to be able to walk a bit more and was catching the bus to the hospital every morning which took me about 1 hour 15 mins approx, and for people that have had c sections will know bumpy rides and uncomfy seats make for long tiring ride. As I was still determined to breastfed I would have to get up in the morning express and then make breakfast and walk to bus stop, go on bus, change bus, get on another bus and then make my way to the hospital I would get there quickly check in on babies and then have to express again. This seemed like my life at this stage, I was making some milk too, I was lucky to have a good supply and with the constant expressing it was bringing on more and more. I had now a big back log and was starting my own freezer supply at home for when they would be at home.

Babies all were gaining the weight they had lost in their first week and were all getting stronger and stronger by the day. It was so hard to feel helpless as a mother but as every other family in the NICU were going through it, it almost began to feel normal in a weird way. The expressing room enabled me to form some friendships with other mothers. I enjoyed this time to express and chat (seems bizarre I know but I think everyone felt comfortable as we all had one thing in common sick/little babies needing care). Once my milk had came it started doubling. All the nurses would comment how my body must have known that I was providing for 3 babes. My average express was around 300mls 3hrly, and my greatest express was 550mls!! (was when I had sleep through my alarm in the night and it had been around 5hrs, lets just say I was sore and could hardly move my body!)

Miller was progressing the fastest and was doing very well in special care nursery. He was able to have a cuddle every 2nd day for the first couple of weeks then when he was around 2-3 weeks old was aloud daily cuddles, which then closer to he was 4 weeks old (34 weeks corrected) had a cuddle 2-3 times a day. He still had to be in a isolette for 3 weeks til he reached over 1.7kg. Then he was able to progress into an open cot and be dressed in baby clothes for the first time. This was like massive milestones for us! We were so  over joyed doing these experiences with him as it meant more cuddles with his mumma and dadda. Also once in an open cot for around 2 days they can also have a bath in a baby bath, previous to that it is just a wipe down with cotton balls to clean them. Its  like seeing your baby for the first time when you can sit and stare at him in the open cot.

Indigo spent a total of 3 1/2 weeks in NICU before trialling of CPAP she was really good and phasing off and after breathing on her own for 1-2 days also joined her brother in special care. She did really well, although remained in her isolette til she reached the right weight to join her brother in the open cot. It was quite hard in this point also as Miller being in special care and the girls in NICU it was splitting my time in half and also having the guilts about how much time I was spending in each part and with each child.

Esmae who struggled the most at the start did quite well after about 8 days on CPAP so  they thought she was ready to come off CPAP. We were excited that she was doing so well and in the next day progressed to special care. In special care they had to keep a closer eye on her, after a few hours she had to be put on oxygen as she started to breathe heavy and weak, that night we got a call that she hadn't coped well at all with the change and ended back in high need NICU. Not what I wanted to hear, my wee girl having troubles and i'm not there. that morning I rushed to her side and she looked peaceful but worn out. the breathing on her own had made her very weak and was put straight back on CPAP when she went back to NICU. After this episode she became quite dependant on it and spent the longest in NICU got out just after she was 4 weeks old. Kane wasn't able to cuddle Esmae til she was 3 weeks old I think he found this tuff as she was so fragile and all you want to do is kiss and cuddle your precious baby.

Life was full on even though the babies were still in hospital, most mornings before I would head in I would prepare dinner for me and Kane and get some washing and cleaning done. We weren't getting home til around 9pm every night where we would have dinner, id express and then straight to bed. I was always sad leaving the babies I don't think that got easier I just learned to deal with it better. Before we went to sleep every night we would ring the hospital and check how our babies were and if there was any change, told them to call us if any changes. The thing that we kept reminding ourselves is that one day in the near future we will be able to walk out of this hospital with our babies as well.

I cant exactly remember weights but usually put on anywhere between 10g-100g every 2-3 days, usually round 50g. They had been gradually increasing their milk as there weight went up, started all on 1ml, then to 2ml, 3ml etc. Once they hit 20mls went up quicker. All tube fed still but was eager to start breastfeeding as soon as they could suck/swallow. We got to help with the feds by hold the syringe for them. They would still often set the alarms off by either having a brady or forgetting to breathe. the more it happened the more you got used to it. Both kane and I were getting good at analysing the machine and knowing what they meant and when to get a nurse to check them.

Photos:

Having a cuddle with Miller 

 Kane having a cuddle with Esmae

 My first double cuddle, Miller in the green hat, Esmae with the CPAP mask on.

 Kane and Miller cuddles

 Mr Miller in his isolette

 Esmae in her isolette and her favourite U shaped pillow

Indigo getting a nappy change 

The babies first week

Well the next part of our lives went so quick. As soon as Kane arrived the next day i was excited to see him i was losing my pain relief machine which i was nervous about. I was able to shower and get to the wheelchair i dont think my smile was any bigger i was so relieved that finally i would get to spend some time with my babies. 

Arriving in the NICU was overwhelming so many machines going so many tubes, i felt so helpless they were my babies except i was unable to hold them or touch them. Even being in the wheel chair was sore but i pushed the pain aside to watch my babies every move. It was time for the doctors rounds so back up to the ward. The babies were tube fed their milk (colostrum) each received 1ml every 3 hours. Doesn't seem like much but when i was only hand expressing about 2-3mls each time it was as precious as gold! Unfortunately i didnt quite have enough for one feed so babies each ended up having 2-3mls donor breast milk the whole time the rest i was able to provide.
I spent as much time as i could by their sides, was hard at times as they were each in separate rooms at points so would spent limited time with each baby. 

Was nice still being in hospital as i was able to go down whenever to see the babies i was still in a lot of pain and the constant moving also made it worst however i knew my babies needed me more. On friday i got discharged, we spent the whole day in the hospital and packing up my room which i spent a total of 7 weeks in was a relief. Although i was so nervous about being separated from my babies. The drive home was weird i hadn't been in a car for such a long time as well as my home. I was sore tired and sad, i was expressing every 3 hours so even though the babies weren't home i had to get up i found this hard as i could hardly walk far and getting in and out of bed was hard. 

My mum, dad, sister her partner and kids arrived that night was so nice to see my family and was overjoyed although the constant pain from surgery and being parted from my babies was constant. The first week was the hardest week of my life not only was i overjoyed my babies were here but i was so tired from the long days spent at nicu, recovering and learning to establish my milk by expressing. 

The babies were on CPAP which was the next step to breathing on their own, its like a mask over the babies face with nozzles into their nose, they were breathing on their own although this provided assistance so they didn't over work themselves. Kane was able to start changing the nappies in the second days he was nervous as they were so little. But was such an enjoyable time for him bonding with his 3 newborn babies. My first cuddle was with Indigo when she was 3 days old i was so nervous but as soon as she was placed on my chest it felt right and in the that moment i was in love all over again .. I was lost in the moment it was so precious and i finally got my first contact with one of my babies. As they were little and needed assistance they could only be handled when the nicu nurses thought they were up to it. The next cuddle i got was with miller and same again overwhelming love and joy.  Esmae i got to cuddle when she was 7 day old. She was the most fragile and they were worried about her, but she loved having the cuddles and coped really well with them. 

Miller was such a fighter he managed to be off CPAP on day 5 and proceeded into special care nursery on day 7, Esmae and indigo however were still having CPAP assistance. 

When we would arrive home we both felt like we weren't parents as it was so hard my emotions were all over the place, i felt so complete at the hospital and then so empty at home. I really understood the phrase unconditional love and how much love i had for each of my babies. Kane also got a cuddle with Indigo in her first week which he loved and as they got stronger we got more cuddles! It made it all worth it. By the end of their first week i was finally starting to manage a lot easier with the pain and recovery i just couldn't wait to be able to have all my babies to myself. I knew we would be a few weeks away from that but that hope was what kept me going and talking to all the other mothers and fathers going through what i was in the hospital i made some great friends. 

The day that changed everything - 30 weeks

What an accomplishment i felt to make 30 weeks! I was so proud of my three little troopers for hanging on. Reality was on our door stop at this stage as we knew this was the last couple of days before the babies would arrive and our lives would be changed forever! 
So many emotions, i was getting more and more nervous not so much about the surgery but about their arrival what condition they would be in and of course becoming a triplet mum! Kane like always was a great support would help me through the times i wondered if we had made the right decision with delivering them on tuesday. 

It was almost like time was in slow mo leading up til the big event .. Yet it also looking back went a lot quicker than i ever imagined. Looking back over my pregnancy which was soon to be ending i felt a sense of sadness as i knew i was protecting them as much as i could now but once they are out it is up to them to work. 

TUESDAY 6th AUGUST 2013 - the most memorable day of our lives

With having a c section i was not aloud to eat 8 hours b4 the op so at midnight the night nurse brought me in a milo and some toast to keep me going til after the op.  I managed to sleep off and on although the constant toilet visits and then trying to put aside all my thoughts made it difficult. At 5am the nurses came in to tell me to start getting ready, icant describe how i felt although putting my gown on and feeling my tummy and my precious cargo kicking i remember thinking enjoy those last few kicks babies coz soon youll be starting your fight to survive. 

I called kane and said they were taking me down early, he rushed up to the room and managed to met me at the door b4 heading down to theatre. All of the nurses on wished me well although i have on another planet. Amazingly i felt calm and relaxed, when we got down there we were prepped and had the last moments as a couple. Our lives were about to change... A LOT!! 

Next stage was the epidural and spinal block wasnt that pleasant but i thought it would be lot worst the inly annoying thing was i had to get it topped up 3 times as it wasnt taking affect .. This meant more waiting and freaking out, i could see some of the theatre and they had described to me what to expect.  But as soon as i entered the room (without kane as he had to wait not sure what for) i looked around and seeing 3 set areas for MY bubs and justa mountain   of nicu nurses doctors and midwives it really hit me. 

As kane finally entered the sheet was up and he looked pale, i think this was when it become surreal for him too.  They asked if i wanted to know when they started, i said no they said we already have! Thank goodness for the epidural! My head started spinning i felt cold i was shaking and i was about to throw up, i kept telling them i felt sick, they had a warm towel across my chest to keep me warm, i really was worried about that. They told me that i would start feeling pressure and they were right it actually felt like i was getting run over by a truck or getting kicked in the stomach my body keep jerking and i felt so uncomfortable and sore that they decided to top me up again as needed to keep me still and calm. They started the surgery at 10.05am and at 10.13 our first beautiful girl entered the world. Baby A was here and in that first moment of when kane and i become parents it was an overwhelming experience that i just cried and cried, in the spilt second of her entering she was gone, my baby girl taken to her crib to be assessed i think she made a slight sound but then nothing my heart was in my throat i now felt sick with worry is she ok is she breathing? But i had no time as it was now 10.15am and Baby B was here another baby girl my heart filled with more love it is understand to say how much love i felt to this new baby, she too was taken to her bay although if i tilted my head to the side i could kind of see them working on her. Although that was just as hard as all i could see was this little baby girl struggling to breathe. The neonatal doctor that was in charge kept telling me that they were good they were having some difficultly breathing on their own so needed extra assistance. Then the surgeon said i can only locate a leg, eeek where was my baby hiding .. But at 10.17am our baby boy (Baby C) arrived and he actually let out a little cry what a nice relief although like the others he was taking to his area and had them working on him. Kane was able to go around to see each of them although he said those first moments he felt sick with worry as our little babies really were working hard to breathe. The doctor came back to tell me that they were all doing well and were all on ventilators to let them rest (this machine worked as their lungs and keep them breathing). 

Kane left as the babies left the room and went to nicu the neonatal intensive care unit. I was in the room full of strangers as they finished the  c section. I felt alone upset and every other emotion as well my babies were gone kane was gone i just cried and cried and cried. 

After they had finished i felt weird, although i was still highly drugged my tummy had gone down a lot and i just felt empty. I went through to recovery where kane met me after and explained that our babies were all doing well and had been weighed. 
Baby A who got named Esmae Michelle weighed 1354g (2p 15oz) 
Baby B who got named Indigo (Indi) Jane weighed 1351g (2p 15oz) 
Baby C who got named Miller Benjamin weighed 1483g (3p 4oz) 

And i finally got to see some pictures of beauties, even with all the tubes they were simply perfection! After awhile i was getting transferred back to the ward, i was able to bipass nicu and quickly see my bubs, i had vaguely seen miller and indigo but hasnt seen esmae since she arrived. It was surreal seeing them in the humidity cribs they looked so small but prefect. They were mine, i just wanted more then anything to hold and nurse them but i knew i couldnt. Then they said i had to go up to the ward i was thankful for those precious minutes. Back on the ward was weird it was like the world had changed except all i had was three photos reminding me my babies were downstairs fighting! 

A few hours later and learning to hand express i thought i was ready yo go back down i was dying to see them again, the nurse said if u can shower  and  get in the wheelchair you can go down. Easy i thought.. However my body had a different opinion i managed with help to walk to the shower and had one, after trying to get dressed was when i went blank. I fainted thankfully in the arms of kane. And that was me for the next hour i remember trying to make my body listen to me but it was interested. I wasnt going anywhere in the shower chair kane holding my head i just wanted to get to the wheelchair. After fainting again that was it the nurses said what i knew was coming bed was the only place i was going. My babies would have to wait to tomorrow. Kane was able to go down every now and then to check them and give me updates. Then he went home i was having to wake every 3hours to continue hand expressing. Which was so hard without my babies although i knew it was for the best. What a day!! 

Reality hits... - week 29

I know my time being pregnant will end soon as we get closer and closer i am thinking how much i want to met these babies but also how i would love them to stay and grow inside a but longer. The doctors were now referring to me as a ticking time bomb and with having 3 babies so were the baby doctors. My doctor came to see me to work out a plan of attack they said with my history and all of their medical knowledge they didnt think my body would last much longer than the 30 weeks and even reaching that could be very tricky. Til this point they always said until 32 weeks they wont do the c section, but with my body not coping as well in the last couple of weeks they had to re think their plan. 

They say to me if i get to 30 weeks they will plan to take the babies ... Hearing this is like finalising everything!! So many questions and thoughts run through my head yet i was unable to think past the fact that these babies could be here in a week. The consultants and the baby docs all had to have a meeting to discuss the plan and what they all agreed was the best approach. A baby doc came to see me also to explain if babies were born now or 30 weeks what to expect most of it was positive statistics so i felt reassured. Waiting to hear the decision was nerve racking although i put my trust they knew best. 

The come to see me the next day to explain the plan and what was considered.. They all believed my body was close to the point that next time i got contractions it would be enough to put me in full labour meaning emergency c section and also being 3cm dilated and my membranes ready to burst. I knew my body was also to this point as i could hardly move had to shower sitting down and my walks were very limited b4 i felt huge pressure. They said they agreed if i get to 30 weeks it would be the safest time to take babies ... The baby docs also said they would prefer them to arrive in a planned operation as it lessens the chance of babys getting distressed if i labour again and the difference in babys born past 30 weeks is minimal to 31. They also told me they do not have a crystal ball they are going on medical knowledge and my notes. He said tuesday the 6th of august will be the date.

Both kane and myself knew that if i could make that date it was it the babies were gonna be here!! Reality hit us

The days leading up to it went by fairly quickly as i stress about my upcoming operation ive heard so many things i was more worried about that. I had full faith my babies would all be strong and healthy. This was also when the guilt sets in should i try push out the date what is best for the babies do the doctors know. The decision we made to go with the doctors is the one both kane and myself agreed would be the right one. 

I am now massive, my tummy is huge and the babies are moving and kicking lots. They make my tum look like its been taken over by aliens it was sometimes hard to watch the movements and when i got braxton hicks it would shape very weird. Ive now made it through week 29 and on the home stretch til d day. 

The main goal - Week 28

Making 28 weeks meant the world to myself and Kane and on the eve of turning over I was hopeful to make it to the next goal of 30 weeks. However my body had other ideas for me, the doctors had made it very clear to me that any changes, pain, cramps etc I had to buzz straight away for the doctors to decide what was going on. I was so happy about making it to 28 weeks after Kane left I wrote a few notes in my diary about feeling positive. When I settled into sleep I started getting a couple of Braxton hicks, this wasn't unusual as I have these most nights, as I wait for these to pass I start noticing one with some pain. I remember what my doc had said so I buzz for the midwife. Thinking it was a once off I thought I would be back to sleep with no time. As the midwife assessed me I started getting more contractions with pain. The doctor said to get me down to birth suite asap and the nurse told me to call my partner. I was happening so fast as I called Kane and woke him I was feeling nervous. I got down to birth suite and Kane arrived not long after, the contraction were getting stronger and closer together beginning to take my breathe away. They had to do another internal and I was round 2cm dilated now, everything was happening so fast they then put 2 cannulas (not sure how it is spelt) one for fluid and the other for magnesium sulphate (this is to help stop labour progression and assist with the babies brain development to lower chances of brain bleeds and cerebral palsy in babies less than 30weeks). I was then given a jab of morphine to help with the pain and to relax my uterus from contracting, followed by nefediphine (to stop pre-term labour). The doctors said there main goal was to get me through to day light hours if they could so were trying everything to stop it. It was incredibly stressful and sore and scary!!! The babies were constantly monitored to ensure they weren't going into fetal distress and then I had to get a catheter put in from being on the magnesium your urine needs to be monitored and they didn't want me standing up as the pressure could be too much. I was so uncomfortable and just hoped that all the drugs would work. Trying to sleep was proving rather difficult, I was exhausted and my obs were check every 30min or so it felt. I was lucky that I got a lovely midwife who had to sit with us the whole night. After the long and antagonising night the doctor came in the morning with the drugs they had managed to calm down the contractions so after another check I hadn't dilated any further!! I had to spend the whole day still in birth suite as the drip had to go through for around 24 hours for it to be as effective as they hope. I just slept off and on and was very glad to go back up to my room that night, even though they still had to check my obs every few hours it was at least in the comfort of what was my room.

The next few days I felt a lot of pressure when standing and could tell that my ever expanding stomach was growing more and more now. Everyday the doctors saw me told me how well I was doing to hold on and to keep it up. They also were reminding me that it could be any time soon and the chances of making the next week or 30 weeks were getting slim. I was still hanging in hope we would make it a little longer.

I was sent for another scan on Wednesday and I was nervous about the babies, I just hoped they were still doing well I wasn't planned for a growth check but after being in preterm labour I think they had to prepare a little more so they checked that also. The babies were doing great in their weights which made me feel very happy, Baby A was 2lb 9oz, Baby B was 2lb 8oz and the boy Baby C was 2lb 11oz :) all good sizes and for being triplets they were very happy! the blood flow through the cord of Baby B and C were not as good but as they had such good growth so they were not concerned. I phoned Kane he was so happy that all his babies were growing well and especially his wee boy :)

That night I felt good and positive knowing that the babies were doing so well, I went to sleep only to be woken at 3am with some pain. I was half asleep and wasn't sure what was happening, I laid down for the next 3o drifting to sleep and then waking, I noticed the pains weren't easing and feeling a little regular. I buzz the midwife who comes to check and does my obs, which are all good. She sits besides me to feels my tummy for the next 10-15 mins. Another midwife comes to check and they say contact the docs shes having 4 contractions in ten min. I phone Kane again by now its closer to 4am warning him Im back in labour.. by the time I get down to birth suite they had increased in intensity and after an internal they think im 3cm dilated ... Is this is? Im thinking again...
They give me a dose of endo which is just a form of morphine to try and settle things out and wait to see what will happen. They were getting a lot stronger and more painful although the time apart was getting further. About 9am they had started easing and then after 10 they completely stopped. Another false alarm, I was thinking yah I can get a little further along although I knew I was on a short time frame. I got to go to my room after lunch as nothing had happening, It was great to get to my bed again. The next day the docs were surprised I was still sitting there pregnant I think the babies are playing head games with the docs as they stress a little knowing im on such a thin line. They told me being 3cm dilated and with the pressure of 3 babies Im doing really well and everyday from here out is a bonus. I knew Id make 29 weeks just hoped I could make the date ive always thought Id have them which is the 2nd of August, ive now made a countdown of each day as I know these babies will be here before we know it. Lets hope they take a back seat for me, I can tell they are a lot bigger as the movements are strong and forceful and my bump is constantly on the move. Kane now gets grossed out by their wriggling under his hands.

Well Ive made it to the end of week 28, lets hope there are a few more days before the babies arrive. I am now very very very uncomfortable, every movement, standing, eating and sleeping is proving rather difficult and the pressure I feel from my bump is incredible. Lucky these babies are loved so much as otherwise you would just want to give up.

Photos bump progress a couple when im in birth suite

 Midwife trying to find babies heart beats

 checking the babies heart beats hard to find them all at once

 28 weeks

selfie - 28 weeks



The good, the bad and the ugly - Week 27

Well we were into another week, and after being here a long time I was beginning to get used to life here and always think about the outside world. Taking small things for granted a trip to the supermarket/shopping centre, driving in a car, sitting on the couch etc were all things I missed since being tucked up in here. I was still feeling pretty comfortable most of the times, although sleeping at night was still proving to be a little difficult. It was also nice for Kane to have some time out with his friends in the weekend getting to dreamworld for a day of fun and laughs, I was glad he was able to go because I often feel slightly guilty for him spending all his spare time in here. (I know that if he was in the same position I would do the same). He doesn't really complain about all the time he spends in here and even before work he dropped of goodies I had requested from the supermarket :)

My days were still the same and I knew that this would be the case for the next few weeks or when the babies decide to arrive. I am very positive of making it til 32 weeks or close to that I just hope my body and the babies can agree on that as well. I thought I might not be getting scanned this week as last week they said it was all so good they only recommended one in another two weeks, my doctor however said they want to see the weekly progress so booked me in again for thursday, I was confident that things would still be the same. Talking to Kane at night I said to him I'll be here til 34 weeks I can see it now spending over 10 weeks in hospital, he said dont get ahead of yourself thats still 6 1/2 weeks away. Time was still going rather quick and 27 weeks marked the beginning of the third and final trimester of pregnancy (eeeeeeeeeeek)!

My diabetes was still be closely monitored and was doing well to maintain it without the need for insulin, some doctors would say I'll be on insulin within a day or two and then they reconsider, so id like it to be like that as long as possible as I already have to thighs covered in bruises from my other injections. I was given another dose of steriods to boost the development of the babies lungs and this one hurt more than ever today. With steriods comes high sugar levels so I had to be even more mindful of this. For people that no me I really struggle with the little amount of treats im allowed :( especially when Im hungry 24/7.
My dietican is happy with me or so it seems, still putting on weight consistnly and Ive just hit the 15KG weight gain. I thought by this stage through I would have put on a lot more and by 34 weeks they would have expected me to put on 25, so not sure how I would manage putting on 10KG in 7 weeks although with these babies growing anything is possible :)

My stomach is now huge!! I can hardly bend down and I can see it growing more round by the day. Also with the growth comes stretch marks and lots of them, they are starting to get thicker and redder by the day (sorry for the indepth description - you will see this in photos to come)... I expected these although still get a fright when I see my reflection in the mirror, as does Kane. As long as I can grow these babies as big as I can I would be happy with any amount of stretch marks as i'm sure 99% of the time they will be worth it. 1% when ive had no sleep and three screaming babies.... (trying to be realistic)

Kane and I had talked about getting out and going on a wee outing/date this weekend, just had to confirm with doctors that I can get out and not overdo it while Im not in hospital. They told me I could which was so exciting I txt Kane straight away to inform him that we could go out on Saturday!! Was looking forward to a gourmet burger and fries :)

That night I had a few more tightenings and hadnt felt the babies move as much, a little bit of cramping and felt very tired. I got the nurse to come in and did my obs she checked tghe babies and they were all ok and started to move a lot more, think the tiredness had just got to me a little. The scan day had came around oh so fast and I was fairly confident my cervix would be still stable. As the scan started I always lie in suspence, as she looked at the screen she started asking some questions, have u had many tightenings and/or pains recently.. I explained yesterday and she said ohh yes, Is something wrong I asked? Not wrong just not as good as we hoped. Your cervix is showing it has completly shortened well measuring about 0.7 of 1mm. I Knew this wasnt good and she said I was needed to be seen by a doctor ASAP... Heading back the room I felt really calm, I had to call Kane and explain to him and then get a visit from my doctors. Kane was pretty calm about it to and wanted to find out what the doctors had to say so I had to call him back after they had visited. My doctors explained what the scan report had said and that they need to do an internal to find out what is going on. There findings were my cervix was full effaced (think thats the term they used?) and I was dilated 1cm... with buldging membranes. Then they went to say strict bedrest for the rest of the day and only 1 or 2 laps around the ward from now on.

The doctors came around the next morning and I confirmed what I knew no trip for me this weekend unfortunatly I was to remain close as labour is just around the corner and they said they need to act fast when it happens. Talking to Kane he believes our wee trio are coming within the week however I am being positive that they will get closer to the 30week mark. The doctors are now watching me very closly and the peds, NICU and other people involved have been made aware of my progression towards the babies coming. Time will tell what these babies have in mind, although I am not ready for them to take that journey into our world just yet... Have a scan early next week so may know more then. The nurses organised myself and Kane to have a visit down to the NICU area (intensive care for babies) we got a tour and explained what will happen in detail when our babies arrive. They will be in seperate rooms as they are triplets they are going to be high needs and need the extra attention of staff until they all stabulise. Was quite scary seeing all the machines in action and the many babies that are in the care at the moment. Although for both Kane and I we dont think it will hit us until it is our babies in the machines with all the tubes. I know that is staffed exceptionally well and they will be in the best care. I just hope all babies do well and cant wait til the moment I can hold one or all three of my babies!! Times getting closer and although I am very excited to met them I want them as big and as strong as possible.


Photos this week.... some included from week 26 :)

 one weeks growth from 26 to 27 weeks

 kane measured to see how thick my cervix was...

 bump update 26 weeks

 braxton hicks getting a little stronger

27 week bump photo