Life for Kane at this stage was hectic not only was he back to work full time he was visiting the babies as much as he could after work for a few hours and before work every morning and then call me to give me the update. I was struggling with the long days in NICU, I was beginning to be able to walk a bit more and was catching the bus to the hospital every morning which took me about 1 hour 15 mins approx, and for people that have had c sections will know bumpy rides and uncomfy seats make for long tiring ride. As I was still determined to breastfed I would have to get up in the morning express and then make breakfast and walk to bus stop, go on bus, change bus, get on another bus and then make my way to the hospital I would get there quickly check in on babies and then have to express again. This seemed like my life at this stage, I was making some milk too, I was lucky to have a good supply and with the constant expressing it was bringing on more and more. I had now a big back log and was starting my own freezer supply at home for when they would be at home.
Babies all were gaining the weight they had lost in their first week and were all getting stronger and stronger by the day. It was so hard to feel helpless as a mother but as every other family in the NICU were going through it, it almost began to feel normal in a weird way. The expressing room enabled me to form some friendships with other mothers. I enjoyed this time to express and chat (seems bizarre I know but I think everyone felt comfortable as we all had one thing in common sick/little babies needing care). Once my milk had came it started doubling. All the nurses would comment how my body must have known that I was providing for 3 babes. My average express was around 300mls 3hrly, and my greatest express was 550mls!! (was when I had sleep through my alarm in the night and it had been around 5hrs, lets just say I was sore and could hardly move my body!)
Miller was progressing the fastest and was doing very well in special care nursery. He was able to have a cuddle every 2nd day for the first couple of weeks then when he was around 2-3 weeks old was aloud daily cuddles, which then closer to he was 4 weeks old (34 weeks corrected) had a cuddle 2-3 times a day. He still had to be in a isolette for 3 weeks til he reached over 1.7kg. Then he was able to progress into an open cot and be dressed in baby clothes for the first time. This was like massive milestones for us! We were so over joyed doing these experiences with him as it meant more cuddles with his mumma and dadda. Also once in an open cot for around 2 days they can also have a bath in a baby bath, previous to that it is just a wipe down with cotton balls to clean them. Its like seeing your baby for the first time when you can sit and stare at him in the open cot.
Indigo spent a total of 3 1/2 weeks in NICU before trialling of CPAP she was really good and phasing off and after breathing on her own for 1-2 days also joined her brother in special care. She did really well, although remained in her isolette til she reached the right weight to join her brother in the open cot. It was quite hard in this point also as Miller being in special care and the girls in NICU it was splitting my time in half and also having the guilts about how much time I was spending in each part and with each child.
Esmae who struggled the most at the start did quite well after about 8 days on CPAP so they thought she was ready to come off CPAP. We were excited that she was doing so well and in the next day progressed to special care. In special care they had to keep a closer eye on her, after a few hours she had to be put on oxygen as she started to breathe heavy and weak, that night we got a call that she hadn't coped well at all with the change and ended back in high need NICU. Not what I wanted to hear, my wee girl having troubles and i'm not there. that morning I rushed to her side and she looked peaceful but worn out. the breathing on her own had made her very weak and was put straight back on CPAP when she went back to NICU. After this episode she became quite dependant on it and spent the longest in NICU got out just after she was 4 weeks old. Kane wasn't able to cuddle Esmae til she was 3 weeks old I think he found this tuff as she was so fragile and all you want to do is kiss and cuddle your precious baby.
Life was full on even though the babies were still in hospital, most mornings before I would head in I would prepare dinner for me and Kane and get some washing and cleaning done. We weren't getting home til around 9pm every night where we would have dinner, id express and then straight to bed. I was always sad leaving the babies I don't think that got easier I just learned to deal with it better. Before we went to sleep every night we would ring the hospital and check how our babies were and if there was any change, told them to call us if any changes. The thing that we kept reminding ourselves is that one day in the near future we will be able to walk out of this hospital with our babies as well.
I cant exactly remember weights but usually put on anywhere between 10g-100g every 2-3 days, usually round 50g. They had been gradually increasing their milk as there weight went up, started all on 1ml, then to 2ml, 3ml etc. Once they hit 20mls went up quicker. All tube fed still but was eager to start breastfeeding as soon as they could suck/swallow. We got to help with the feds by hold the syringe for them. They would still often set the alarms off by either having a brady or forgetting to breathe. the more it happened the more you got used to it. Both kane and I were getting good at analysing the machine and knowing what they meant and when to get a nurse to check them.
Photos:
Having a cuddle with Miller
Kane having a cuddle with Esmae
My first double cuddle, Miller in the green hat, Esmae with the CPAP mask on.
Kane and Miller cuddles
Mr Miller in his isolette
Esmae in her isolette and her favourite U shaped pillow
Indigo getting a nappy change
